I rarely ever use profanity. I wish I could say never. I remember a specific time while on SDPD when I cussed like a drunken sailor. It occurred when I thought it would be a good idea to feel the effects of a TASER. As
a Lieutenant and Deadly Force instructor at the San Diego Regional
Police Academy, I felt I needed to know what it felt like to feel 50,000
volts at a very low amperage, coursing through my body. It was not one of my better decisions. I found knowledge can be painful.
When
the TASER was finally turned off, (after about two long seconds) I
think the sergeants and officers were surprised what came out of my
mouth. I quickly understood why suspects previously intent on causing
us mayhem and vowing to send us to meet our maker, would sometimes
become docile after being tased and plead, "just don't touch that button again". Lesson learned.
I
was always strict about professional communication between police
officers and citizens. I learned early on in my law enforcement career
that police officers who used profanity in the course of their duties
were not only embarrassing, but they were ineffective. The desire to
cuss ratio tends to go up when guns were drawn and pointed at
uncooperative
people believed to be armed. Some cops with only a few years on who thought
they were John or Jayne Wayne would try and rationalize using profanity
by saying, "Sarge it is the only language criminals understand". That
is such an ignorant statement. It was usually an insecure police officer
who had been improperly trained and his peers and/or supervisor
tolerated the behavior.
people believed to be armed. Some cops with only a few years on who thought
they were John or Jayne Wayne would try and rationalize using profanity
by saying, "Sarge it is the only language criminals understand". That
is such an ignorant statement. It was usually an insecure police officer
who had been improperly trained and his peers and/or supervisor
tolerated the behavior.
In
San Diego we are blessed to have a great police department where the
use of profanity is unusual and not commonplace, like some east coast
police departments. As one of my early sergeants explained to me, "If
you are in a violent confrontation with a suspect, I can usually justify
you removing him from his car via the wing window. (By the way,
whatever happened to those wing windows)? If you use profanity, you are
out of luck. Be ready to spend a coupe days on the beach". In police
talk, "days on the beach" means you were suspended without pay. If a
San Diego Police Officer ever dared to use a racial epitaph, they knew
they would be promptly fired. The sooner the better.
As
a sergeant, I clearly recall my initial briefing of about a dozen
police officers who were hand selected for the first GST, (Gang
Suppression Team). They already knew what I was going to say. In the
coming months that turned into years they would be facing some of the
most dangerous people in the City of San Diego. I told them I had no
tolerance for profanity or the use of any excessive force ... ever.
If
you must fight, overwhelm your opponent's violent behavior quickly and
stop. You never want the battle between good and evil to cross over the
line to personal. When you degrade or impact someone's personal pride
they will never forget it. They will then be much more likely to want to
try and kill you or another police officer. The SDPD officers in the
past are just like the current ones. They are incredibly brave,
professional and they risk their lives to keep us safe. GST remains as
one of the premier units on San Diego Police Department.
I
present this subject matter on profanity as a lead in to discuss what
happened Tuesday night at our home in 4S Ranch. Our eight year old son
Ryan, who just lost his second upper front tooth has accused me of using
profanity. This time at the kitchen table with our other two sons,
Troy, and Raymond within easy earshot. I will leave it to you, the
reader to decide if it was profanity or just a unique communication,
"style".
One
of my father's favorite sayings when he dealt with someone who was
exceptionally rude or just a plain mean person was to call him a,
"Horse's ass"! Last Tuesday night I was talking about an individual who
would have easily fit into my dad's criteria. I was thinking what my
dad would have said when I caught myself and stopped. I did not finish
the sentence. Theresa stared at me wondering why I had stopped talking.
The silence in our kitchen just hung in the air. She probably thought I
had a, "senior moment".
I
lowered my voice so the kids in the family room would not hear and I
whispered, he was a, "Adam, Sam, Sam". Theresa has heard me speak
phonetically before and picked up on it quickly as, "ASS". Of course
our elephant eared, eight year old son who hears absolutely everything
and never forgets anything immediately picked up on what I said.
Ryan then began blurting out like a persistent parrot, who is bored in
his cage, "Adam Sam Sam". "Adam Sam Sam". Theresa and I looked at each
other and started to laugh as I thought, "oh shit". I mean, "oh my
gosh". Of course, Ryan now had all our boys attention as he asked
inquisitively, "Dad, what's an Adam Sam Sam"?
Theresa
just shook her head with a little smile as I now knew I had to deal
with it. In jury trials there is a term called, "ringing the bell". It
is when jurors hear something they should not have legally heard.
Everyone knows once a bell is rung you cannot, "un-ring" it. Even Perry
Mason or Bumper Morgan could not get me out of this one. I humbly and
apologetically told all our boys I was saying, "ASS". Let the hooting
and hollering begin. For the next two hours there were more, "Adam Sam
Sams" flying around our home then a dirt corral in Ramona.
At
the end of the evening as we tucked Ryan into his bed and our other
sons laid nearby, I turned off the light. I knew they were all smiling.
As I began to shut their bedroom door and the narrowing sliver of light
from the hallway sliced into their room, Ryan of course had to say in a
way only a child missing both of his upper front teeth can say, "Adam,
Sam Sam, you taught me that dad". Yes, I did Ryan. I taught you that.
I thought for a moment how funny our father would have found this
conversation. I just wish there was some way I could tell my dad about
his legacy and how darn funny today was with his grandchildren.
Have a great week.
Ray & Theresa Shay
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