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| Sunrise |
Theresa and I were having one of our private discussions as we relaxed in the early morning silence of our home, long before the sun had announced it was a new day. All three of our boys were soundly asleep upstairs, intertwined in their warm blankets. Our youngest son, Ryan surely had one of his thin arms wrapped around one of his favorite teddy bears. The single lucky bear he had selected the evening prior to move off of his dresser and hold close to his heart while resting his little chin on the bears fuzzy brown head.
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| Raymond and Uncle Mike |
I thought of our boys sleeping as I took another sip of my coffee and prepared to tell Theresa something that moms really do not like to hear. It was about our middle son, Raymond. I started out by explaining our previous days adventure with Raymond and, "Uncle Mike." After two years of delays, I had finally taken Raymond to the paintball park at Camp Pendleton.
I purposely delayed the event for a variety of reasons, but mostly because I am not too big on guns. Despite almost 25 years on SDPD and many years on the SWAT Team, I prefer to downplay the allure of any gun. I view them as tools for professionals, not necessarily something you simulate playing with while at a paintball park. Despite my personal baggage, we had an awesome time.
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| Raymond |
As Theresa and I sat around our kitchen table, I described what I had seen. It was something unique and easily recognizable if you know what to look for. I had witnessed it countless times in both tactical and police operations.
It was the last scenario of the day and most of Raymond's teammates had been eliminated, including Uncle Mike and myself. Despite being outnumbered, and outgunned, Raymond remained calm, tactically smart, and moved with precision as he ultimately defeated the enemy and "won" the battle for our team.
In some ways I wish I had not seen it. After a pregnant pause I finally told Theresa, "I saw Raymond's eyes as he confronted the long odds. There is a warrior inside of him." I felt a slight twinge in my heart, when I said it. Theresa very maturely responded, "you did not," I replied, "yes, I did" she again said, "you did not. He is only twelve years old."
In the early morning darkness we both repeatedly went back and forth several times until our sentences were shortened to "did so, did not, did so, did not." We finally both stopped with a nervous chuckle as we sat there in an uneasy silence. I knew we were both contemplating what it may mean for Raymond as he selects his own path to manhood. Where would life take our not so little boy?
I came to the conclusion it was better not to look so far ahead. After all, regardless of what profession he ultimately choose, calmness under pressure and a strong desire to win will always pay dividends. Being a warrior is not always limited to a field of battle or entering an urban hostage environment.
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| Jimmy as an Adversary Pilot at Top Gun |
A few nights later, we met some good friends, Kathy and Jimmy DiMatteo and their children on the patio at the Hotel Del. Our friendship extends back almost twenty years. Jimmy is a Naval Aviator and a proven warrior who has trained and supervised America's finest fighter pilots in air combat operations at Top Gun. Jimmy goes by the call sign of, "Guido."
I am not sure what the proper protocol is but as long as I have known Jimmy, I have never called him "Guido." I Just think calling him by his military nickname is an honor earned by other aviators and military personnel who have risked their lives to serve our Country. Aviation may be in my blood, but I think I could get sea sick riding on the ferry to Coronado.
Over all those years, Kathy has always been right alongside Jimmy every step of the way. They remind me of my mom and dad. Kathy deserves an award like all military spouses. I will never forget the many challenges our mom endured raising seven kids and supporting a man in combat. I don't know how any spouse or partner does it. They are the unsung heroes.
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| Mom and Dad |
As we sat on the patio overlooking the Pacific Ocean, I did not bring up the "warrior" thing. I felt I had adequately covered that earlier in the week.
From our elevated location, we could see the blue lights on the military boats supporting US Navy Seal Team members as they trained in the dark and chilly Pacific Ocean. Their blue colored boat lights would dip rhythmically with each incoming wave.
We also watched as a wide variety of military aircraft approached North Island Naval Air Station. Each time, without fail, Jimmy's eyes would drift skyward as the silhouette of planes and helicopters were visible passing through the periodic clouds and beneath the stars.
The partial image and the sound of their engines were enough information for Jimmy to rattle off the type of flying machine and other cool stuff concerning the aircraft and their pilots. The same type of things my brothers and dad would always say. I didn't mention it, but it was comforting, as it reminded me of a prior generation of Naval aviators. I guess once you are a brown shoe, you're always a brown shoe.
As we wrapped up the evening, I took the below picture of both of our families with a neighbor kid thrown in for good luck. As I looked at the resulting image on my I-phone I thought 
about Kathy and Theresa surrounded by their children. I then thought of all the other countless moms across our great country.
about Kathy and Theresa surrounded by their children. I then thought of all the other countless moms across our great country.
The same moms who only six or fewer years ago may have seen a look in their children's eyes that indicated they may someday be warriors. Or they noticed how their child may have stood up for a classmate and said to themselves their son or daughter may one day be a leader, a protector. Those same kids are now the beloved men and women who are in the ocean and flying above us remaining forever vigilant to protect us and freedom around this dangerous world.
I know the next few years of our lives will go by very fast and if our children choose to join the military or law enforcement we will of course support them and be very proud and we will not mention the worrying which is just part of the deal. But no matter how big, hairy, and stinky Troy, Raymond and Ryan become, I think we are like most moms and dads everywhere, who tend to remember our children as little boys or little girls and how sweet it felt when they were safely sleeping in their bedrooms.
I know the next few years of our lives will go by very fast and if our children choose to join the military or law enforcement we will of course support them and be very proud and we will not mention the worrying which is just part of the deal. But no matter how big, hairy, and stinky Troy, Raymond and Ryan become, I think we are like most moms and dads everywhere, who tend to remember our children as little boys or little girls and how sweet it felt when they were safely sleeping in their bedrooms.
Enjoy your week,
Ray & Theresa Shay
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