A Comic Book LifeWritten by Ray Shay

Me with two of my four brothers,  Mike and John Shay

I was dropping off my brother John at the San Diego International Airport for his flight back to Seattle when he said, "I finally figured it out!"  

Since John had spent the last five days enjoying the San Diego sunshine where he was exposed to both the sun and our family, I wondered what he was thinking.  As usual he did not disappoint. He loudly proclaimed, "You and Theresa lives are like something out of a comic book."  

My first reaction was to laugh. A comic book, really? In the days that followed, I thought about what John had said and decided to test his hypothesis. I picked a random hour out of our lives with our three sons, Troy, Raymond and Ryan to see if it really did sound like a comic book. I did not think it would, but I figured I would let you, our almost two thousand subscribers of Eweekly (TM) to be the judges.   

Like many great stories, it had to begin at Costco.  Theresa and I had about twenty minutes before we needed to pick up Ryan at Los Pen Elementary School, so we hurriedly tossed food items into our shopping basket.  You would think it was a series of double plays at a San Diego Padres game.

I then made a truly amazing discovery. I stopped in my tracks when I saw an end cap stacked high with cases of liquid refreshment, an "Irish Beer Collection." I had to buy one. Theresa is 100% Chinese, but I am sure somewhere in her distant past her relatives must have visited Ireland.

As you all know there are only two types of people in this world, Irish and those who wish they were.  I think Theresa is a wisher.

We hurried out of Costco with the rear portion of our "clown car" (Shay Realtors' Car) loaded to the roof. The case of Irish Beer was clearly visible in the right rear window.  After picking up Ryan our eight year old, from Los Pen Academy in PQ, we hurried over to Oak Valley Middle School and picked up Troy and Raymond.  

As the last two of our brood climbed into the back seat with Ryan we realized we had a real problem.  It should not have been a surprise since we have had the Honda Element for over five years. The rear seat only accommodates two people. Our tallest son Raymond was now stuck sitting in the middle where there is technically no seat.  Raymond's head was actually touching the ceiling of our car.

I hollered, "Strap in fellas" as we pulled away from the curb. I know all three of their pairs of feet were likely resting on soccer balls, which are always loitering on the rear floorboards waiting patiently to be played with.  

   

I glanced in my mirror and could see our two oldest and of course our biggest

Chow Time!

sons unceremoniously wedged together and our youngest and  our smallest son, resting in comfort to the left.   

The first thing they all said   

in unison is they were, "starved."  How much can these kids eat I wondered.  Luckily, we had planned for this contingency.  Theresa broke out three disposable containers of Chinese food and they all began feverishly eating away like famished young coyotes.

    

With our car now packed with people, books, soccer balls and of course that case of Irish beer, we started heading home. That is when I saw the marked police unit drive past us on Camino Del Norte.  

I quickly came to the realization the Deputy Sheriff may pull us over. I was half joking when I warned everyone we may have to take evasive measures since I did not want the ticket or the embarrassment.  Troy had his mouth half full of sticky rice when heeked out the following words from the corner of his mouth, "are you serious?"  

"Darn right I am.  Let's focus people." I told Raymond he had to, "duck" so he promptly lowered his head from the ceiling but his whole upper body was still too big to get out of view.  

That was obviously not going to work, so I told Ryan he would have to "duck." He obediently and quickly tilted his head down. Unfortunately, he is so small he was never visible from the outside anyway.   

As we all were laughing, I proclaimed we would have to out run the cops! I told the boys our "clown car" would soon be zipping around 4S Ranch on two wheels.  I promised them the cops would never catch us. Several ideas popped out on how to loose them, but we all ultimately agreed on a better plan.  If we we're stopped, everyone would just have to run in different directions. 

Our escape plan involved throwing out the Chinese food containers as diversions and if that was not enough, the soccer balls rolling down the streets would give The Deputies or Cops more things to think about then chasing half Irish and half Chinese kids as they scattered into the neighborhood.  The sad part is the Irish beer was too big and heavy.  The beer would be a casualty of the encounter.

Raymond then gave some sage advice to Theresa who was still laughing in the front right seat. "Mom, you won't get caught. You just have to run faster than Ryan! Ryan looked at Raymond for throwing him under the bus.  Raymond has always been a thinker.

The vase would be the perfect hiding spot!

Theresa suggested Ryan was so small he could just hide in the large vase at the corner of Camino Del Norte and 4S Ranch Parkway.  She said, "Ryan they would never find you." The thought made Ryan smile.   

As the Deputy continued past us allowing us to breathe easier,  I thought again about what John had said.  He was obviously crazy to think our life was anything like a comic book... 

   

 

   

  

  

  

I think were living...just like so many other families.

Have a great week! 

 

Ray & Theresa Shay  

Info@TrustShay.com

  

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