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| Raymond with SDSC Coach John Napier |
When I hung up the phone I took a deep breath and quietly said to myself, "sh.." In the big scheme of life it was what I would refer to as a "nothin burger" moment. Not a big deal. Just another regular day, a life sandwich with nothing special on it. But to a twelve year old boy, our twelve year old boy, I knew it was going to be a really big deal.
I was not looking forward to telling Raymond his new San Diego Soccer Coach had just called me and said he was not going to keep Raymond on the team next year. Theresa and I broke the news to him that he had been "cut" from the soccer team he has played on for several years and the teammates that he loves. I knew the surprising news would bring an abrupt end to his excitement about playing for the new coach and joining the team on their upcoming trip to Europe.
I also knew it would be a tough life lesson for Raymond, but I also saw it as a learning opportunity. I believe sports are often a reflection of real life and thus a training ground for our kids future. I guess I am also an optimist because looking back in my life, I think I learned more when adoor was shut on me than when I walked through an open one.
We explained to Raymond that throughout his life there will always be a few things he can always count on. First and foremost, life is not fair, so he really can't throw his sucker in the dirt when it isn't. Secondly, there will always be changes in his life and times where he will face adversity. How he deals with it is really the hidden key to his success.
In considering how fast life evolves, just take a look at the two photographs below. It shows the recent introduction of Roman Catholic Pope Francis. It is compared to events
only eight years earlier. Raymond understood the change aspect of our discussions rather quickly, but Theresa and I had to work with him for several days on how to handle his perceived unfairness of his situation. I am being quite honest when I say it was not an easy task to help him to understand.
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| Life changes so fast. What's next? |
We were very proud of Raymond when he decided to keep his promise and complete the current soccer playoff season with his fellow teammates and Coach John Napier. Yeah, he probably felt he was viewed as a "dead man walking" on the team and would not be on the same team next year, but the right thing to do was was to keep his word and complete the season. After all, what would Messi or Ronaldo do?
I like to think Coach Napier who speaks frequently about keeping a positive attitude and playing with "heart" to all his kids was pleased with Raymond's decision. John has been a great role model for Raymond. It was now time for the student to follow the masters' lessons.
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| San Diego Soccer Club BU12 Team 2012 |
The value of the old copper pipe, is it can communicate to the hearts and minds of our youth by reaching places where we as parents cannot easily reach. That is why there are never enough great coaches or teachers, as it is them whispering words of inspiration and accountability that helps to shape our children's futures.
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| Raymond with teammates Cameron, Matt and Chris. |
Raymond and all the kids must have listened to Coach Napier. Despite his bruised ego and some teasing, Raymond stood side by side with his fellow BU12 teammates as they fought valiantly for two straight weekends on the wind swept soccer fields in Lancaster, California. A place better suited for flying kites than playing or watching California's best soccer teams compete, (someone in Cal South Soccer should really do something to fix that).
Raymond and every single one of his teammates showed the heart that Coach Napier had emphasized for the last four years. Despite at times not having any substitutes on their bench to give them a rest and several of the young men having significant injuries, they simply never quit. It was very impressive. The team reached the semi-final match in San Juan Capistrano this past Saturday, where they faced Barcelona Academy. The top rated soccer team in the country.
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| National Cup BU-12 Semi Final Match - Barcelona Academy Vs San Diego Soccer Club March 16, 2013 |
With the score remaining zero to zero after regulation, it went into two overtime segments where Barcelona's persistence paid off and they scored the only goal over a tense and competitive hour and twenty minutes of soccer. A testimony to the skills of both teams. Congratulations to Barcelona on their hard fought win.
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| The boys say goodbye to Coach John Napier. |
When the game was over as well as Raymond's tenure with the team all the kids gave Coach John a group hug on the sidelines. This was John's last time to coach the kids he had helped to raise. He was now sending them all off to blaze their own trails.
As John walked off the pitch, I saw him carrying his soccer gear and that invisible old copper pipe slung over his shoulder. There are still allot of years left in that "Mentor Pipe" as well as coach John. I hope he never retires. The kids really need him.
I also know I can't get Raymond to laugh about it yet, but there is something funny about adversity. It is not always the case, but sometimes when you look back years later, you realize something that seemed so negative at the time was actually a blessing, which opened other doors you could have never imagined.
Enjoy your week,
Ray & Theresa Shay
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