YODO

"YODO"

by Ray Shay
5.13.14

Troy, Raymond and Ryan

I know it's not easy being a cop's son.  I know my unique perspective on life is deeply shaded by about twenty five years of responding to critical incidents where very bad things often happened, or were about to happen. Usually the prior. 

When I raised my right hand as a rookie cop and said I would uphold the law and protect people, I thought I would be doing more protecting instead of responding and dealing with the aftermath of someone breaking one or more of the Ten Commandments, common decency or what most parents tell their children they should never do. It is just the nature of police work.

Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of times we worked a surveillance that resulted in us stopping street gang members with weapons who were bent on revenge or arresting a predator who had lost touch with reality.   

I know we saved lives, but honestly as a patrol officer you spend more time trying to pick up the pieces, then preventing Humpty Dumpty from falling off the wall.

You can't let the negative experiences seep too deeply into your private life, but it does influence how you look at things.  Theresa and I talk freely with our three sons Troy, Raymond and Ryan about living large, but we also remind them to be cautious of unforeseen consequences.  It is a difficult balance.  I guess that is what caused all three of our sons to turn their heads abruptly when I yelled out nice and loud the word, "YODO!"

It was a sunny afternoon a few weekends ago when our family was walking across the parking lot at a local shopping center.  There was a car approaching us at a slow rate of speed when Theresa and I yielded for the car, while our boys had another idea.  I guess that's not too surprising.

As I recall, one of our boys started yelling out the common phrase "YOLO" with at least one of his other brothers finishing it off as they ran across the parking lot with their hands in the air.  They weren't in concert or in tune but that is not what bothered me. I of course immediately crinkled my face when they did it.

 

I have heard them yell "YOLO" plenty of times.  If for some reason your not familiar with the saying it is teenage short hand for, "You only live once!" In their mind it seems to justify something they do which is on the edge or high risk.

 

As the car safely passed and our sons continued their giggling, I cupped both of my hands around my mouth and yelled out, "YODO."  They all looked at me with that "your embarrassing me dad look." As I yelled it again, it reminded me of something my father would have done.

When Theresa and I caught up with the boys they kind of whispered under their breaths, "Dad it is YOLO, not YODO." To their shock and dismay I just yelled it out again, "YODO."  They all looked around with embarrassment and then looked at me as if I had lost it.  That's really nothing new.  Like I said, it's tough being a cop's  son.

I then gathered them in close and explained, "YOLO" is fun and cute but they need to keep in mind that when they "YOLO" they may "YODO." As they all stared at me yet again with perplexed looks on their youthful faces, I slowly spelled it out, "YODO ... You Only Die Once."

Then came the, "Oh geez dad." Mixed in was a little laugh as our littlest son Ryan repeated it "YODO."  They shook their heads and let my cautionary tale at least enter their brains. I then lightened up the conversation, but since that day I have repeated "YODO" more than once.

Our sons usually laugh and occasionally roll their beautiful eyes when I say it.  I just hope it helps them without making them afraid of life or so paranoid they don't test the boundaries.  Leaders and children both need to have the confidence and common sense to allow themselves to grow and try new things.

As Troy, Raymond and Ryan ran off to play, I really knew it is more my problem than theirs.  Anyone who has been in law enforcement or emergency services for longer than a cup of coffee, learn pretty quick that no matter how much you may wish and try to do it,  you are often like all the kings horses and all the kings men in the fairy tale, and you simply can't put all the pieces back together again.

Enjoy your week and as our boys often tell me, "YOLO Dad!"

  

Ray 

 

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