Whisper by Ray Shay

Whisper   
By Ray Shay   

  

Recently, after finishing Chelsea's Run in Balboa Park our family walked over to Jimmy Carter's Mexican Restaurant at Fifth and Palm Ave.  As we approached the restaurant, I saw a mentally disturbed man wandering in the middle of the parking lot of the 7-11 store across the street.  

He abruptly pulled off his jacket and threw it to the ground before yelling obscenities at his invisible demons.  It was not long before SDPD arrived and placed the man into custody. While the man sat handcuffed in the rear seat of the police car, I talked with one of the young officers. 

The officer said one of their biggest issues lately, are people ingesting methamphetamine from Mexico which is laced with some unknown chemicals.  It results in persons exhibiting symptoms similar to PCP abuse.    

As he spoke, I recalled the dangers of PCP.  I then thought of SDPD Officer Mike Anaya who was only on the force for about nine months, when a PCP suspect overpowered him and killed him with his own duty weapon. 

Officer Michael Anaya (Click here to read his story)

PCP (phencyclidine) or "Angel Dust" as they call it, is a powerful sedative which was originally used to tranquilize elephants.  When I was on patrol in the cheaper areas of this city, the drug was frequently referred to as, "poor man's cocaine."  

I sometimes testified in San Diego Municipal Court as an expert on PCP abuse.  It only meant I knew slightly more than an average citizen and I had documented experience and specialized training in this hallucinogenic drug.  

Before gathering our family to head home, I cautioned the police officers to be safe. A common departing comment between cops, even a retired one and the next generation of law enforcement officers.  A friendly reminder that each moment they are wearing a badge, they are a target.

As I drove down I-163 to Mission Valley, I thought back to my countless encounters of people under the influence of PCP.  I then found myself squeezing the steering wheel as I thought to myself, I should have told those young officers to whisper.  It could save their lives. 

 

With most police critical incidents, you learn that either you or the violent suspect is in charge. That is why when guns are drawn or tempers flair, officers take command by saying, "San Diego Police," in a loud, authoritative voice.  New officers are reminded to practice this skill so they can take command of situations quickly.  

We also learned through experience, it was often best to slide to the other end of the spectrum and coax suspects into custody if they were under the influence of PCP.  You want to step into their often hallucinogenic episode softly and quietly. Every officer in the early 1980's learned to roll up to 11550 (b) scenes with no siren or emergency lights flashing and definitely never to screech their tires when stopping.

A sudden loud noise, quick move or lack of patience could result in the person suddenly turning violent. Since they feel no pain, seem to have super human strength and are likely hallucinating, the only thing that could stop them was sheer body weight. It would result in the proverbial "dog pile" while you try to gain control and apply handcuffs.  The entire time you keep one arm across your holster, securing your duty weapon to prevent the situation from turning deadly.  

Our sons still ask me to tell the story of the man on the roof.  It was just after shift change, about four in the afternoon when the radio call came out at 2800 Logan Avenue.  The reporting party said a large man who was likely high on PCP, was standing on his roof. If I didn't mention it, he was standing on the roof his car and the man was completely naked.  

I think I was the third unit to arrive on the scene.  The man was a giant.  The roof of the car was partially caved in and he stood broadly with both arms high in the air with his fists tightly clenched.  He looked at me and proclaimed, "I am God."

PCP can come in solid, powder or liquid form. It is most frequently found in liquid form and tobacco or marijuana cigarettes are "dipped" in the substance and then it is ingested by smoking.

Looking into his eyes you could see the "blank stare" appearance which is common with the drug. The drug also makes a person run hot and that is why they are frequently found naked.

The other symptoms of being under the influence of PCP is muscle rigidity, a strong chemical odor on their breath, hallucinations and finally PCP is one of the few things that can actually cause their eyes to display vertical nystagmus.  It simple terms, their eyes will bounce up and down similar to the old video "Pong" or "Breakout." Now, I am really dating myself.

As I looked at the man, I realized even if I had half the Department here, we could not likely physically restrain him.  I knew we had to talk him into handcuffs. That is where the whisper came in.  I recall engaging him in my softest voice, "God, everything is OK.  Why don't you just come down and talk to me?"

He glanced slowly around at the gathering neighbors, the owner of the car who kept repeating, "he is on my car!' and the additional police cars who kept quietly rolling up.  I think I mustered a smile as I waved him towards me and repeated that everything was OK. He stared at me for about thirty seconds and then to everyone's relief he slowly lowered his arms and stepped off the roof and walked across the hood of the car as it dented below his heavy weight. He reminded me of the incredible Hulk as he stepped on to the black asphalt with his huge bare feet. 

I whispered again, "Everything is OK." I could feel the heat radiating off of his body. Several officers quietly eased his hands behind his back and applied the standard double sets of handcuffs. One to hold him and the second to make sure the first set did not break.

As I continued our drive back home with my family, I wondered if I should even this story.  I know the eWeekly has wide readership including many police officers, but most of my readers sit in gate guarded communities or in expensive homes with HOA's and neatly manicured front yards. I know it will likely ruffle some feathers, but I hope the second group sees this article as educational.

If PCP or methamphetamine laced with chemicals is making a come back, I think you should know about it. Talking to experts in the field of narcotic prevention, they emphasize the importance of parents paying attention to their children, interacting with them frequently and be their parent and not necessarily only their best friend. Finally, don't wait too long to ask for professional help if you discover there is a problem. 

Enjoy your week, as we are all so fortunate to have peacekeepers like Officer Mike Anaya and so many others on the job to protect us and help safeguard our children.

 

Copyright Shay Realtors 2015 All Rights Reserved

The Stinky Trash Can by Ray Shay

The Stinky Trash Can 

By Ray Shay   

  
We had a standing rule in our car that while driving our children to their competitive sporting events, they could select the music. Their song choices have been broad and varied and I think they have enjoyed the freedom to select what they wanted to hear.

That rule suddenly changed last Saturday morning while I was driving one of our sons to play a cross town rival. I thought I heard the singer drop the, "n-word."  My suspicions proved correct when the singer said it once again, and by the third time, I reached over and turned the radio off.
My son was surprised and started to argue about his Fifth Amendment rights, my earlier promises they could play whatever music they wanted, and his final argument was, "all the popular songs use that word."  I know it was a visceral reaction, when I looked him in the eye and said songs using that word will never be played in our car.

After a few minutes he said, "fine." He then played a song with the weirdest set of sounds I had ever heard.  As we pulled into the high school parking lot and he reached into the back seat to grab his gear, I commented on his selection. He replied dryly before shutting the door, "It is the same song without the words."

As I watched him walk away I thought about my parents and my mom specifically who often told us seven kids, "You don't have to stick your head in a trash can to know it stinks."  I knew I had to find a way to re-approach our adolescent son and try to convince him why that word was off limits. By doing so, I knew I would have to tell him why I hate that word so much ...

 
It was the late 1960's when I first recall anyone using the "n-word." Thankfully my parents were way ahead of the curve on the importance of equality and what was right and wrong.  

I remember I was about nine or ten years old when a friend of mine called some dark holiday nuts a racist nickname.  I did not realize it was improper and naively thought that was just what people called them. 

I recall walking on to our front porch holding a basket of those dark, long nuts when I asked my father if he wanted any.  His response was quick and immediate.  I suddenly found myself lying on the ground with the basket and those dark nuts scattered around me. He made it clear the, "n-word" was never to be used.

  

When I became a police officer, I encountered racist people. They always turned my stomach. Despite what some people may say or what you see on national news, I never once saw a sworn law enforcement officer act in a racist manner.  It never would have been tolerated by his or her peers, or the San Diego Police Department.

Agent Thomas Riggs

Later in the day, I was again alone with my son.  I told him what happened on my front porch, a very long time ago.  I then asked him to think of two of his best friends while I told him a story about two fellow SDPD Police Officers named Agent Thomas Riggs and Officer Donovan Jacobs.  

I summarized how they conducted a traffic stop where a highly trained martial artist named Sagon Penn turned uncooperative and ultimately began fighting Officer Donovan Jacobs.

Within a matter of seconds he disarmed Officer Jacobs and shot him in the neck (partially paralyzing him).  Penn then used the same gun to shoot Agent Tom Riggs three times and then walked over to the marked police car and shot the female, civilian ride along, twice.  Penn then removed Agent Riggs handgun from his duty belt as he lay dying on the dirt driveway and stole the police car, running over Officer Jacobs as he fled the scene. 

  

Click here to read more about the incident.
Penn's Defense Attorney alleged at the subsequent trials that somewhere in the confrontation that terrible word was used. I don't believe it, but that is what defense attorney's do.  They represent their clients best interests and it was in his best interest to leverage that hateful word.

I still recall that sunny June day in 1985 when Sagon Penn was cleared of all charges and walked out of jail a free man. After I loaded my shotgun and placed it in the electronic dashboard mount of my patrol car, I just sat there for a few minutes with the air conditioning on full speed.  I kept asking myself how that could have happened?

I spoke with our son privately and then we discussed the use of that word as a family.  They figured it out.  I hope our sons never forget the importance of equality and staying out of the trash can of bigotry and hate.

I did not have the heart to tell our children that Tom and his wife Colleen had an infant son named "Adam" when he was killed in the line of duty.  Another example of a Police Officer who never had the enjoyment of seeing his child compete in team sports or the opportunity to help his son identify what is right and what is wrong in this big, complex world.

I can only hope that one day that hate filled word will leave our lexicon.


Enjoy your week,

 

Copyright Shay Realtors 2015 All Rights Reserved

Playmakers by Ray Shay

Playmakers 

By Ray Shay

6.3.14

When I heard about the recent NFL draft and the countless hours devoted to discussing who the Chargers should select, I thought about the importance of playmakers.  The tiniest percentage of athletes, business executives, or even police officers who develop a reputation for making the critical plays at crucial moments in a game, a business environment, or life.  

I think one of the greatest gifts anyone can give a coach or a business executive is to ask them one question, "who do you want?"  Then go out and get them.  It sounds so simple, but it rarely happens.  Maybe it is because decisions are too often made by committees or clouded by well meaning people and a variety of outside influences.  

San Diego Chargers Manager Tom Telesco should ask his Head Coach, Mike McCoy who he wants and forget about what anyone else says and just make it happen.

I still recall the feeling of empowerment and unbridled enthusiasm I felt when the Lieutenant of the San Diego Police Department Gang Unit told me I was selected to be the Sergeant in charge of the newly formed Gang Suppression Team, (GST).  It got even better when he slid a white piece of paper across his large brown desk and said, "write down ten names.  Your team starts Saturday night."  

I knew the rush to get a proactive uniformed gang suppression team into the unforgiving streets of San Diego was not because I was anything special, rather it was due to the large number of armed street gang members who seemed to be getting the upper hand.   The death and injury toll to both law enforcement officers and civilian personnel had far exceeded everyone's tolerance level.  

I knew I needed brave, tough and smart cops.  Police Officers that would buy in on what we were about to confront, the worst of the worst.   Each officer would have to tread a narrow professional line where all profanity and any heavy handed law enforcement tactics were strictly off limits.

As I explained to them, "I can justify you dragging a violent street gang member out the wing window of their car, (whatever happened to wing windows anyway) but the moment you use one word of profanity or any excessive force, we will loose the battle and your behavior will put all of us in greater jeopardy.   Any violation of either rule will not be tolerated. 

When I turned in my list of officers to my Lieutenant, there were a few surprises.  He raised and eyebrow and said, "are you sure?"  I replied, "Yes. I have a balance of officers skills, aptitudes and a couple playmakers." 

In law enforcement lore, "playmakers" have a unique nickname.  They are called "Sh;:$ magnets." They are a very small number of street cops that always seem to be around when the proverbial sh:;$ hits the fan. 

These select officers have an amazing and uncanny knack of uncovering armed criminals on the prowl.  If you thrive on action and stopping violent criminals from hurting innocent victims, you try and stay close to a playmaker.  When you hear their radio designator being broadcast over the police radio, the first thing you hope for is that you are close by.  

The split second before they say they have a "man with a gun, I'm in pursuit, or shots fired" you know it's coming by the underlying tension in their calm voice.  It's like waiting on the Screaming California roller coaster launch platform just before blast off.  You can almost hear the hiss of the air compressors as you prepare to accelerate down the track. 

What is different from Disneyland is you can't say when the ride will be over, or if you and your partner will still be alive when the critical incident concludes.  Almost all cops are adrenalin junkies and it is the playmakers who make amazing things happen. They locate the violent felon, but it takes the entire team to safely capture him and conduct the follow up investigation and subsequent search warrants and detailed interviews that saves countless lives. 

I know I started off talking football, but I hope in some way Coach McCoy gets his selections because I want to ride on the football roller coaster with the San Diego Chargers as we all pull into to the Super Bowl in Phoenix Arizona on January 25, 2015.  

Unfortunately, I am a bit too old to ride that other roller coaster I love so much.  The one the SDPD Gang Suppression Team continues to ride each night.  Dangerous business with incredibly talented and brave police officers that still follow the same rules and employ many of the same tactics we implemented so many years ago.  

It must be a pretty good gig, because that original team has been expanded to six full time teams who have done their part to establish our incredibly low violent crime rate in the City of San Diego.  The envy of many police departments across this great country. 

 

Copyright Shay Realtors 2014 All Rights Reserved. 

Wild Fire Re-Cap and the Robbery by Ray Shay

Wild Fire Re-Cap and the Robbery  

By Ray Shay 

5.20.14

  

Wild Fires Strike San Diego County

I knew things were going south last Tuesday morning when my cell phone started ringing with multiple reports of a growing brush fire in the canyon area near Del Norte High School.   

My hat is off to Gretchen and our team who sent a Community Hub eAlert within ten minutes of us hearing about the fires. Many of our readers emailed us thanking us for getting the work out so quickly. I hope it was helpful.   

The fires immediately brought back memories of other devastating wild fires in San Diego where I was the one in the blue uniform telling families their homes were no longer standing.  As strange and heartbreaking as that experience was, many of the victims appeared honestly relieved to at least know the truth. I think the waiting and not knowing, is a big part of the trauma that so many people in our area and other parts of San Diego County endured last week. 

Soon after the fire trucks started rolling into our area, I walked towards our 4S Ranch Community Hub in 4S Commons when I saw the uniformed SDPD Police Officers standing outside the Wells Fargo Bank. The bright yellow crime scene police tape was hanging loosely, blocking the bank entrance. 

I recalling thinking the bank was likely robbed because the criminals knew our local Sheriff Deputies were busy evacuating frightened families. My suspicions were soon confirmed. Once again reminding me that predators are cowards and when they see a weakness they frequently look for opportunities to attack.

As my mind drifted to the wild fires and how brave both law enforcement and firefighters always are, my mood began to sour. I was distracted thinking about the multiple fires and that an armed felon and his companions were out taking advantage of the situation.

With the fire spreading unpredictably and the bank robbery, Theresa and I both wanted one thing, which was likely the same thing many of you did. We wanted to have our kids with us.  We wanted to be "hands on."

I was going to delay picking up our three sons from their separate schools, but Theresa had other ideas.  I have learned when it's not worth arguing.

When we arrived at all three of our local schools, Del Norte High, Oak Valley Middle and Del Sur Elementary, we were met with throngs of people picking up their kids.Tensions were high as fire engines raced past and dark smoke was in the air.

I have been at countless emergency situations, but I found myself impressed with the calmness of the leadership teams at each of the schools. Yeah some kids as well as some parents were on the edge, but the occasional smile and calm reassurance form a teacher, principal or other school employee was comforting and went a long way to calming nerves.  

Word quickly spread that Stone Ranch Elementary had ordered an evacuation of their students which resulted in parents moving quickly to pick up their children from the other local schools.  

The caravans of yellow school buses mixed with emergency vehicles reminded me that there was a great deal of training and pre-planning involved in our critical incident.     

In each instance there were lots of parents and anxious children, but the calmness and professionalism of school administrators was impressive.  We personally witnessed each of the below principals actively involved in working with their staff to pull off a pretty challenging event.  

   

     

At the end of the day, with Troy, Raymond and Ryan safely in our car, I thought about the firefighters and the law enforcement officers.  I then thought about another group of heroes that rarely get accolades and the support they deserve from the community.   

They are our teachers and the principles of our local schools who day and day out deal with highly emotional and stressful situations for little pay or recognition.  

It's not the cover of Time Magazine, but for the few thousand people who read this eWeekly, it is a reminder that each of our principles including Lisa Danzer of Stone Ranch Elementary and David Gyertson of Maranatha High School are pretty special people.  

Enjoy your week,

    

 

Copyright Shay Realtors 2014 All Rights Reserved. 

YODO

"YODO"

by Ray Shay
5.13.14

Troy, Raymond and Ryan

I know it's not easy being a cop's son.  I know my unique perspective on life is deeply shaded by about twenty five years of responding to critical incidents where very bad things often happened, or were about to happen. Usually the prior. 

When I raised my right hand as a rookie cop and said I would uphold the law and protect people, I thought I would be doing more protecting instead of responding and dealing with the aftermath of someone breaking one or more of the Ten Commandments, common decency or what most parents tell their children they should never do. It is just the nature of police work.

Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of times we worked a surveillance that resulted in us stopping street gang members with weapons who were bent on revenge or arresting a predator who had lost touch with reality.   

I know we saved lives, but honestly as a patrol officer you spend more time trying to pick up the pieces, then preventing Humpty Dumpty from falling off the wall.

You can't let the negative experiences seep too deeply into your private life, but it does influence how you look at things.  Theresa and I talk freely with our three sons Troy, Raymond and Ryan about living large, but we also remind them to be cautious of unforeseen consequences.  It is a difficult balance.  I guess that is what caused all three of our sons to turn their heads abruptly when I yelled out nice and loud the word, "YODO!"

It was a sunny afternoon a few weekends ago when our family was walking across the parking lot at a local shopping center.  There was a car approaching us at a slow rate of speed when Theresa and I yielded for the car, while our boys had another idea.  I guess that's not too surprising.

As I recall, one of our boys started yelling out the common phrase "YOLO" with at least one of his other brothers finishing it off as they ran across the parking lot with their hands in the air.  They weren't in concert or in tune but that is not what bothered me. I of course immediately crinkled my face when they did it.

 

I have heard them yell "YOLO" plenty of times.  If for some reason your not familiar with the saying it is teenage short hand for, "You only live once!" In their mind it seems to justify something they do which is on the edge or high risk.

 

As the car safely passed and our sons continued their giggling, I cupped both of my hands around my mouth and yelled out, "YODO."  They all looked at me with that "your embarrassing me dad look." As I yelled it again, it reminded me of something my father would have done.

When Theresa and I caught up with the boys they kind of whispered under their breaths, "Dad it is YOLO, not YODO." To their shock and dismay I just yelled it out again, "YODO."  They all looked around with embarrassment and then looked at me as if I had lost it.  That's really nothing new.  Like I said, it's tough being a cop's  son.

I then gathered them in close and explained, "YOLO" is fun and cute but they need to keep in mind that when they "YOLO" they may "YODO." As they all stared at me yet again with perplexed looks on their youthful faces, I slowly spelled it out, "YODO ... You Only Die Once."

Then came the, "Oh geez dad." Mixed in was a little laugh as our littlest son Ryan repeated it "YODO."  They shook their heads and let my cautionary tale at least enter their brains. I then lightened up the conversation, but since that day I have repeated "YODO" more than once.

Our sons usually laugh and occasionally roll their beautiful eyes when I say it.  I just hope it helps them without making them afraid of life or so paranoid they don't test the boundaries.  Leaders and children both need to have the confidence and common sense to allow themselves to grow and try new things.

As Troy, Raymond and Ryan ran off to play, I really knew it is more my problem than theirs.  Anyone who has been in law enforcement or emergency services for longer than a cup of coffee, learn pretty quick that no matter how much you may wish and try to do it,  you are often like all the kings horses and all the kings men in the fairy tale, and you simply can't put all the pieces back together again.

Enjoy your week and as our boys often tell me, "YOLO Dad!"

  

Ray 

 

Copyright Shay Realtors 2014 All Rights Reserved. 

The Mole Sez - Dangerous Intersection in 4S Ranch

Hey Boss, 

 

I hears lots of yous guys are worried about the intersection in 4S Ranch at Camino San Bernardo and Deer Ridge Rd. It's near da southwest corner of Del Norte High School where the cross walks are painted yellow across da blacktop.  Don't be fooled.  It looks like a four way intersection with stop signs all around, but it really isn't.  

Seems there has been a few car crashes there and we all know our kids cross on that cross walk. Pretty soon boss there is also going to be kids from Design 39 Campus walking across that street.

It's well, confusing to drivers of all ages because the cross traffic keeps zooming by.  There are only two stop signs and not four.  Boss, I even heard a rumor you were a bit fooled by the traffic trickery.  I was worried, so I put the word out and my uncle Jed who moved to Apple Valley to open a radiator business, sent me the below photograph and said, "Mole this might help with a plan "B" for that intersection." Jed was always a thinker.

I knows the County says "No Way" they will make it a four way stop, (though the knuckleheads  really should). I  have never been a quitter, boss but this ought to be a plan "B" as Jed told me.  That is until plan "A" of making it a four way stop can be implemented. Pretty big word for me boss.  That Bridgepoint Education on line course is helping!

Hey boss, I thinks yous guys should all forward this to the County and tell em what Uncle Jed recommended.  It's a start and it could save a life as they say.

Oh yeah, here is the info for people to call the County and go for plan "B." Americans a great country boss, tell your readers to make de voices heard!

Contact San Diego County 

Mole out

Gold and Blue: The Front Rowby Ray Shay

Editors note: Gold and Blue is a series of police stories which may be inappropriate for younger readers. This is a small peek behind the badge of America's Finest. 

SDPD Chief of Police   Shelley Zimmerman

I felt a sense of both melancholy and excitement as I stood with a good friend at the rear of the City of San Diego Council Chambers last week and witnessed the historic confirmation of Shelley Zimmerman as our new Chief of Police.     

At one point in the ceremony, "Shell" as I have called her for over thirty years, and her brother and mom turned and smiled at the overflow crowd who had filled the chambers and an adjoining waiting area. 

I returned her smile along with countless other attendees and about a dozen news crews and reporters. My eyes then traveled further down the front row where she stood alongside the other members of the San Diego Police Department Command Staff. There was more brass standing in that row than you would see at an antique road show.

I recognized all of them.  Their names are ones you have frequently read about in the newspaper or have heard in the media, Executive Assistant Chief Dave Ramirez, Assistant Chief's Mark Jones, Walt Vasquez, Captains Manny Guaderrama, Joe Ramos and the list goes on. 

It seemed funny because to me they are just, Dave, Mark, Walt, Manny and Joe.  I then thought back to when we all worked together on the streets of San Diego.  I still recall that hectic sunny day in the heat of the summer when a hard core and extremely chubby street gang member with a death wish, stepped out of his home on South Gregory Street brandishing semi automatic rifles in each arm and started shooting in an ill fated attempt to kill as many police officers as possible.  

When the shooting ended, the gang member was dead and Dave had a gunshot wound to his lower leg.  Despite his injury, he never stopped fulfilling his duties as a Police Sergeant.  Looking back to that day, I can now laugh when I think about how he was cursing like a sailor, when San Diego Fire Department Paramedics were trying to convince him to get in the paramedic van and lay down.  Cops are just tough like that.  You learn early in your career never to scream in the police radio and if you are shot, you never quit. Dave successfully did both.

I also thought about Shelley (our new Chief) and her contagious smile and unbridled enthusiasm that still makes me bust up laughing.  It was hilarious seeing her in multiple undercover roles including narcotics or vice and hearing her talk about her love of family, being a police officer and of course the all important, Ohio State Buckeyes. 

Most people don't know Chief Zimmerman cut her teeth on supervising a large staff at the Indochinese storefront in the turbulent and violent Mid-City Command, where over fifty-three different languages are spoken

Shelley rarely ever took a day off despite my frequent pleadings for her to go on vacation. Besides flying back to Ohio for a Buckeye game or to visit family. she was always at work.  Her unyielding work ethic is well known among Department veterans. 

At times the City Council hearing was tedious, so I began thinking of other slices in time with members of the SDPD command staff.   I still recall the SWAT

Officer Ron Davis

emergency Code 11 that brought Mark and I to a meet at a foggy parking lot in Southeast San Diego.  It was long before sunrise and Officer Ron Davis who had recently welcomed his second son into this world was shot and killed.  Ron had just stepped from his patrol car while investigating a domestic disturbance when his young life was ended.  T Davis. 

Mark and I began the process in the TOC (Tactical Operations Center) of tracking down his killer alongside SWAT XO Lt. Jim Duncan and CO Lt. John Welter.  Like many cop killers he was a coward and decided ultimately to put the period on the final sentence of his own life.  We all heard the confrontation and the accompanying gunshots less than 100 yards from the TOC.

  

TO READ MORE ABOUT OFFICER DAVIS CLICK HERE. 

   

The list of critical incidents seemed endless,  weather it was fighting suspects high on PCP with Manny, SWAT emergency entries with Joe, or all the long days and nights Walt and I worked in preparing our City and the Department for the Republican National or the International Biotech Conventions, I realized there was a common thread.

This Photo was taken of the Bravo Company on the eve of the 2001 Biotech Convention. FBI Intel reports predicted we would be overwhelmed by criminal acts.  We had no issues.   Captains Joel Bryden and Cheryl Meyers are to the left side. The San Diego Police Department photographer was Carlos Medina.  As always, the Officers did an amazing job.

That commonality is each member of the current San Diego Police leadership team have been there in the heat of the battle when not only the chips were down, but in fact there was not a single chip left spinning slowly on the table.  Hope could have been lost several times where human life's had been taken or they still hung in the balance.  In each instance, each of these men and Shelley demonstrated courage, fortitude and love for their fellow officers as well as the citizens of our town.   

As I drove home later in the evening, I thought about that front row in the eighth largest city in these United States of America and what challenges face Chief Zimmerman and my friends who are now tasked with leading the San Diego Police Department to a better place.  An exceptional opportunity placed in their care thanks to the leadership and decisiveness of our new Mayor,  Kevin Faulconer. 

As I walked in the front door of our home in Del Sur, it took Theresa about a New Jersey second to pick up on my peculiar mood, as I thought about that darn front row.  She said, "you are always like this after going to those."  I knew immediately what she meant. 

 

Honestly I love cops, what they represent, and their sense of honor and service. It will always be an important part of me.  But there is something I love so much more. I knew what I had to do to get past my temporary personal turmoil.  I opened our nine year old sons door and he was just falling asleep.   I did what we both have done almost every single night since he was an infant. 

It is our routine and it is always the same. I kiss left cheek and tell him this is my favorite time of the evening. I then say, "sweet dreams, love you, good night." He then always repeats the same words in his little boy voice. Sometimes he or I will squeeze in, "see you tomorrow." It too is then repeated.

Words in time I treasure like no others.  Words and special moments in time that so many cops, deputies, or other emergency personnel so often miss due to changing shifts, overtime, call outs and caring for complete strangers and other people's children.   

Ryan Shay

  

I knew when I walked away from the SDPD, soon after Ryan was born, that I was making a trade.  I don't know if I would have ever been selected to be in that front row, but as the years pass and our children continue to grow, I am at peace with my decision.  I traded the chance to compete for a front row seat to sit down on their beds in the darkness almost every single night and say, "goodnight."  Not such a bad trade.  

I am so proud of "Shell" as I look forward to now calling her, "Chief."  I am also very confident of her abilities and that of her Command Staff to renew our citizens faith in America's Finest police department.  A faith I have never lost ...

 
 
 
Ray and Theresa Shay 
 
2013 - Shay Realtors - All Rights Reserved

The Dateby Ray Shay

 

Ryan and Theresa

I know at a minimum it is bad manners for me to be on a date with my wife and son and to keep thinking about another woman, I met the previous evening.  I just couldn't shake the thoughts of her from my tired brain. 

I never dreamed I would be so distracted, because Theresa and I have been consciously trying to enjoy every second were around our youngest son Ryan.  He is at the awesome age where he is so much fun and he still thinks we're both pretty, "cool."  He laughs in his little boy voice at my corny jokes and still giggles uncontrollably when I tickle him in that special, secret spot.

I felt like we were living the dream last Saturday night as the waiter served me an ice cold amber ale in a chilled glass as I prepared to dine with two people who are at the top of my universe.  I glanced around the packed restaurant located in the beautiful and quaint seaside town of Del Mar, California.  Over a hundred people were busy laughing and joking as they appeared not to have a worry in the world.   I noticed gold and grey American Express cards were dropping on top of dinner bills like steady rain on a tin roof.

That is when my mind drifted back yet again to the previous evening and the other woman. Her name is Lisa-Lisa Jones and she is part owner of Jones Brothers Mississippi Barbecue at 6911 imperial Ave. (LINK). I met her while I was with some friends named Rocky, Dan and Ken Fortier.   Ken is a Sergeant on the SDPD Gang Suppression Team.  We were all on a ride-a-long to get a peek at how most people live.  Not the safe, HOA monitored and gate guarded communities that dot our local landscape, but rather residences where there are no garages and life and people just intersect more.

As we pulled into the parking lot of Jones Brothers Barbecue Restaurant in Southeast San Diego, Sergeant Ken warned us, "Lisa-Lisa is great, but keep in mind she is a hugger."  As we unbuckled our seat belts and eased out of the marked patrol car wearing bulky ballistic body armor,

Outside the perimeter of a shooting crime scene later in the evening.

we all glanced around the empty parking lot.   It was about seven PM on a Friday night and there was not a single customer. That is except us.

The empty parking lot and restaurant did not bother me as I knew they had great barbecue.  I was busy thinking to myself, how cool it was that Lisa-Lisa was a "hugger."  This world needs more "huggers." 

My private thoughts then drifted to all the years I had been a cop and how likely it was we would be called away from dinner to respond to either a shooting, stabbing or another type of violent crime somewhere south of Interstate 8. After all, it was Friday evening and San Diego is no longer a sleepy little town along the Pacific Ocean.

For whatever reasons, life just seems less fair in poorer communities.  Unfortunately, my predication of violence proved all too accurate, except for the timing.  We were able to finish our dinner. 

When we all walked into the empty Jones Brothers Mississippi BBQ Restaurant you would think we were returning family members. No hugs, but the Jones' family greeted all of us warmly with friendly smiles.  I didn't ask Dan or Rocky, but I knew we all felt welcome.

The barbecue was awesome, but more importantly, I saw a plaque resting on the laminate counter by the cash register and empty tip jar.  It included a picture that honored SDPD Officer Chris Wilson who was gunned down in the line of duty only a  few miles from where we now sat.  Chris who was married and has a son and a daughter was killed onOctober 28, 2010.  For details and video reflection of Officer Chris Wilson click here

When we finished our meal, I thanked Joe, his brother Nate and his wife Lisa-Lisa for the great food and told them how much we appreciated they still remembered Chris.  Lisa-Lisa blurted out proudly, "of course. I love that man."  What was interesting is she spoke about Officer Chris Wilson in the present tense.  Chris was killed in the line of duty from a gang members bullet over three years ago.  Lisa-Lisa and her family are keeping his spirit and memory alive.  She is a woman I will never forget. I knew Theresa would understand me thinking about her and Officer Chris.

It reminded me once again that sometimes in a few communities the bonds of friendship seem tighter and the appreciation they have for their law enforcement officers feels like it runs deeper.  When we got back to our patrol car we 

Rocky, Joe Jones and Dan

were soon responding to a shooting in the 3300 block of Imperial Ave.  Directly due west where we had eaten dinner. 

As I smiled at Ryan and Theresa with the fresh ocean air surrounding us, I  thought once again about the Jone's family and my time with Rocky, Dan and Ken.  I then took another sip of the cold beer and made a private toast to all the men and woman of law enforcement who were right now walking the point to protect us.  I also felt a sincere sense of appreciation to what appears to be ordinary people like the Jones that on a daily basis do such extraordinary things, like making strangers feel so welcome and keeping the memory of a father and friend alive and part of the daily fabric of their lives.

 

Enjoy your week.

Ray and Theresa Shay 

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