Broker's Corner: Sneak Peek of Kingston at Del Sur

Sneak Peek of Kingston at Del Sur

Take a sneak peek into the newest estate homes located in Kingston at Del Sur. Kingston at Del Sur will feature 50 estate-style single-family homes. These homes are 4,912 sq. ft.- 5,620 sq. ft. and will offer up to 6 bedrooms and 6.5 baths. For any questions regarding these homes in this master-planned community contact Shay Realtors.

Ray Shay Broker/Realtor Shay Realtors

Have a great day,  

Ray Shay  

 

858 449-4970  

 

 

 

 

This information is copyrighted and cannot be reproduced or distributed without the express written consent of Shay Realtors Inc. 

Lead Story: Goodbye Gold Toe 5/26/15

Theresa and I searched high and low to higher the best and brightest to join Shay Realtors Inc.  Nicole Montemuro, who is our most recent hire as our Operations Manager, was employed by Pacific Sotheby's, while our Listing Manager, Lindsey Fech, was formerly with Barry Estates of Rancho Santa Fe.   Both are great companies.  

Battle of the Socks

Our most recent employee to join Shay Realtors is Kelly Haynes, who graduated from California Western School of Law only a few weeks ago. I bragged to Theresa I was doing an amazing job as "hiring manager."  That was until last week as our team of about a dozen employees crowded around our "Dog Bone" table at our Rancho Penasquitos Community Hub®. 

  

That is when I realized I made a big mistake in hiring every one of them. They first broke rule #1 by celebrating my birthday and the #2 rule they all violated was gifts. Bag after bag containing brightly colored socks.

They were all sending me a very clear message, "your archaic black and brown socks gotta go!" I thought I was pretty "hipster" but I guess my GQ magazine subscription must have run out. No one told me black and brown socks, went the way of the pet rock?  

Battle of the Socks

I had no idea that colorful socks are "in."  Some of the socks were multi colored with funny logos including mugs of beer, dollar bills, stripes and even one which had Homer Simpson on it. I got what my staff was telling me.  It was time for a "sock intervention."

For as long as I can remember my sock drawer at home has always had a consistency of muted colors. Mostly black, a few dark brown and only a handful of lighter brown socks. All twenty-four years as a cop I always wore black socks under leather black boots.  It took a few minutes to wrap my mind around the idea of modernizing my sock collection.

Sometimes as a leader, you need to follow. The very next day I was sitting at the Athlete Store in UTC working on this story as I waited for Theresa.  As you can see, I had my bright blue socks with Homer Simpson on them.

Stephanie - Athleta at UTC Employee

What the heck. Who says an old dog can't learn new tricks.  That is when I met Stephanie or "Steph" as her friends call her. 

Steph walked past me as I sat by the dressing room with her arms full of clothes.  Her million dollar smile was followed by, "hey, those are great looking socks!" 

I had to laugh as I realized she saw Homer smiling away on the bright blue background. Once again our employees demonstrated how truly amazing they are.  I rescinded their termination notices as it renewed my keen sense as a darn good hiring manager and, well, I guess I will get used to my change of socks.  

We hope you had a great Memorial Day Holiday weekend.  Be sure to thank a Veteran for all they have done to keep us safe and preserve our freedoms. We are so lucky to have them! 

    Ray Shay  

    

Copyrighted by Shay Realtors Inc.  All Rights Reserved. 

Lead Story for 5/19/15: Gratitude

Theresa and I recently listened to an inspirational speaker at an International Real Estate Conference who spoke of the importance of developing a greater sense of gratitude.  He claimed it would change us forever.

SDPD Chief of Police Shelley Zimmerman Congratulates 2015 Leadership Award Winner Judy Simeroth

Several thousand of us in attendance listened as he explained that he awakens early each morning and reaches down beside his bed and grabs a cold towel that has been immersed in ice water overnight.  He then twists the towel before placing it across his closed eyes.   

In the morning silence, he quietly reflects on what he is grateful for and the people who have helped him in his life.  Sometime during that day he either calls or writes a note to someone who influenced him. He thanks them for what they did and tries to identify ways to help that person be more successful in attaining their goals.

  

As we sat in the crowded audience, several of us were amused.  I even let a soft chuckle escape from my lips just before I whispered to Theresa, "Wow, time to load up the ice chest!' 

Chief of Police Shelley Zimmerman Signs 92127 Leadership Award Recognizing Judy Simeroth

At lunch I joked further with Theresa about the speaker and loading up my ice chest and setting it by our bed.  I'm sure our three sons would likely think I was injured or was simply crazy.  As peculiar as it sounds, over the last few weeks, I have thought more and more about the countless people who have helped me both personally and professionally. 

That is what led me to standing in San Diego Police Department, Chief of Police Shelly Zimmerman's corner office last Friday afternoon and telling her about Judy Simeroth.  Judy is just one of hundreds of people that has positively influenced my life.      

The Simeroth Family Jodi, Jesse, Judy and Jake

I told Chief Zimmerman how many times I asked Judy for help and the answer was always the same, "yes."  

Judy has committed her life to raising an amazing family and helping people in this City and this community.  

Judy has volunteered for countless local causes and was pivotal in helping to grow and build the 4S Ranch / Del Sur Foundation as both past Board Member and President.  

So many people do not realize how many hours Judy has donated to Del Norte High School and the Annual Thank You Run that is held each Thanksgiving morning.   

The 4S Ranch /Del Sur Foundation has alone awarded over $150,000.00 to local charities.   Past leadership award winners helped to select and present the 92127 Community Leadership Award for 2015 to Judy last Friday evening.  

   

The event was hosted by the Mutter's with over $27,000.00 in grants being presented to local non profits and schools in our area.  It was an amazing evening. 

Judy Simeroth is awarded Community Leadership Award Past recipients Herb and Carol Mutter and Randy Koch assist in presentation.

 Ray Shay  

Copyrighted by Shay Realtors Inc.  All Rights Reserved. 

Broker's Corner 4.27.15

Staging to Sell Your Home for Top Price!!

Ray Shay Broker/Owner Shay Realtors

We have been staging homes for sale for over eight years.  We were staging homes for free when staging wasn't such a hot topic.  We evaluate every house both inside and out and identify what a seller should do to get top dollar! 

This is an example of how we bring in the experts like Mike Iloski of
Brothers Construction to work his magic.  

See the video below to meet Francisco.  He is one of the hard working employees that changes a backyard to improve the sale price! 

Meet Francisco!

Have a great day,  

Ray Shay  

858 449-4970  

 

This information is copyrighted and cannot be reproduced or distributed without the express written consent of Shay Realtors Inc. 

The Juggler by Ray Shay

The Juggler  

By Ray Shay 

 

Do you ever find yourself juggling?  There are so many different shapes, sizes and colors, that it is hard to keep track of all the balls.  I can close my eyes and see a rainbow of colors spinning and turning as each area of concern tumbles through the air.

As I sat in our Shay Realtors company car at 4S Ranch Community Park waiting for our youngest son Ryan to complete soccer practice, I thought I was doing pretty well on juggling the responsibilities of life, work and family.

Theresa and I have never missed Ryan's soccer games, but instead of attending his practices, I have been busy answering emails and making phone calls to friends, clients, and colleagues.  I was filling up precious minutes of time with this and that, this and that, and even more and more of this and that. 

In between juggling the balls in the air, I kept thinking about our children as I conducted my frequent checklist of their individual challenges and victories.  I wondered yet again why our youngest son Ryan, seemed to be loosing his interest in soccer.  

It would be such a waste because he was blessed with a magical touch on the ball. It must have been a gift from a higher source and I do not want it to be wasted.  

Perplexed, I set my IPad down on the seat next to me and looked up at the ceiling of my car as I tried to figure out why Ryan's soccer mojo was failing. That was when the thin grey ceiling material on the roof of my car heard me say, "Ray, you are such an idiot."

I realized I had dropped one of the most important, irreplaceable balls in my life.  It had hit the dark pavement and was rolling away from me.  Something I promised myself, I would never let happen. 

Here I was sitting in the parking lot of the sports park listening to National Public Radio working on real estate stuff, while our beautiful ten year old son is only about 100 yards away practicing soccer.  In years past, I was always a fixture at Ryan's older brothers, Raymond and Troy's, soccer practices. I made a point of sitting in my beach chair and chatting on the phone and occasionally answering an email.

Ray and Troy Shay

Those sunny afternoons always reinforced the reason I walked away from the SDPD and a career and friends that I dearly loved.  It was to raise these three young boys. I don't know if dumbass is one or two words, but that is what I felt like. I realized that maybe, Ryan is loosing interest in soccer because he thinks I am loosing interest in him and his favorite sport.

It made me think how much our focus changes from our first child to our third.  I still recall Theresa and I tip-toeing into our oldest son Troy's bedroom when he was only a few weeks old and videotaping him sleeping.  Really?  Videotaping a baby sleeping?   The oohs and ahhs were all his.

The photographs, videos, and extensive birthday celebrations peaked with our first and has been sliding slightly south since.  In the early years we got so busy giving our three boys baths, getting them fed, off to school, and over the years it seems life has just gotten busier.

As luck would have it, two days after my epiphany,  I made a point of attending Ryan's soccer practice.  For the first time in many years, my phone actually was out of power.  I watched his practice in peace and quiet.  It was the same field, where I had previously sat in the parking lot.

With my phone dead, watching him play soccer was amazing. I had a strange urge to drop my cell phone in the trash can next to the parking lot.  I don't think I am alone in those thoughts.  

I could see Ryan struggling against an opponent to gain control of the soccer ball, and pass it off to a teammate.  That is when I saw what any parent can easily recognize.  It is the childish glance or the double take when a child sees a mom or dad watching them. 

Of course, after practice Ryan said he did not need me to watch his practice. "it's not a big deal if you don't watch." It was a big deal to me.  As I tussled his sweaty hair atop his head, I made two commitments to myself.  The first was to hire the best Real Estate Operations Manager we could find to join Shay Realtors and better serve our clients wile taking some of this and that off our plates.  

The second promise was to Ryan and my family that no matter how large our business may grow or not, we will not get caught up with so much of the minutia that our trusted employees can easily handle.  Our children's smiles and being close to them are the most important things in our lives.

To ease my parental guilt, I apologized to Ryan and took him golfing. A sport that I am a true amateur. I explained that dads sometimes makes mistakes, but I will do my best not to be a repeat offender as the other balls can fall to the ground if needed, but I will do my utmost to make sure he, his mom and his brothers continue to remain flying high in the crystal blue air, where they belong.

Enjoy your week,

Copyright Shay Realtors 2015 All Rights Reserved   

Keep Pedaling by Ray Shay

Keep Pedaling 

By Ray Shay

The Golden Gate Bridge Ride

It was an amazing spring day as Theresa, Troy, Ryan and I began riding our rented bicycles on a meandering dirt path on the sun splashed shores of the Pacific Ocean near the Golden Gate Bridge.

Instead of relaxing and fully enjoying the quiet moments in San Francisco, I made some of my trademark mistakes.  It usually starts with me being overly vigilant about the people around us and then I add to it my habit of reflecting on the past, evaluating the present day, and trying to predict our futures. 

When all that is rolled together there really is not much time to, "chill" as our children so often promote.

As we rode past the cable car station at Fisherman's Wharf, I saw the long line of passengers waiting to board.  My mind quickly drifted back to almost eighteen years ago, when an alert street musician saw me discreetly kneel down as I removed a Costco diamond ring from my faded Levi's jeans pocket.

On that windswept and frigid evening Theresa and I suddenly heard the musician unabashedly announce over his very loud and waterproof speaker system, "ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention?  I think we just had a marriage proposal!  This is awesome for my show!!"

I slipped the musician a few bucks, just so he would stop talking about us. I was still shell shocked as I realized I had just tossed the marriage dice for the second time. Something I never thought would happen.  Looking back, it was the best decision I ever made in my life.   

As we approached the entrance to the famous Golden Gate Bridge, I began to dwell on our oldest son Troy turning sixteen in just a few days.

I recalled a good friend of ours told us the day her oldest son turned sixteen years old, she just stood in the shower and cried. As hard as she tried, she could not stop the tears. I think we all look back in time and sometimes struggle on where we should focus.

Ryan - Future  CEO of GOOGLE!

The thought of her tears were in my mind as I followed our ten year old son Ryan as he kept pushing each alternating peddle down immediately after each other. I hollered for him to look back at me. He declined. He had places to go.

I then started laughing as I watched his little ten year old legs and body alternating movements as he sped forward. The more I teased him to look back, the faster he would pedal.

If I only had a Glacier Ray Gun (GRG) at that moment, I know I would have frozen him and and our entire family in that moment in time.  Oh yeah, our third son Raymond would have to be frozen too, but he was in New York City and out of range.

I don't think wanting to stop time is unusual, but pressing forward is something to be valued. Take a minute and look around at people you know and you can pick the "peddlers" right out. They might take a break and coast for a minute, but then they get right back at it.  

Jimmy and Ryan

Some "peddlers" amaze me.  They fight through adversity every single day of their lives. Quitting is not part of their lexicon. I just want to be more like them.

Here is a photo of two of my favorite, "Peddlers."  Only about seventy years separate them.  "Jimmy" is Ryan's grandfather, who grew up in deep poverty in China.

Jimmy is so full of life and he has never stopped moving forward. 

Why are more "peddlers" immigrants?  I think they realize the untapped opportunities that America offers.

Jimmy turns eighty years old this year and he recently opened an amazing Chinese Restaurant at the southwest corner of Mira Mesa Blvd and Black Mountain Road.  It is called Quality Taste Hot Pot!

If you stop and see Jimmy be sure to tell him you read about him in the Community Hub eWeekly. Tell him you heard he is a "peddler." I'm sure you will hear his amazing laugh.

Have great week!

 

Copyright Shay Realtors 2015 All Rights Reserved      

Broker's Corner 4.7.15

The Housing Market Is At Its Best Since 2001

Ray Shay Broker/Owner Shay Realtors

In a housing market analysis released last week, Nationwide Economics indicated that that the housing market is the "healthiest" it's been in the past 14 years. 

 

According to the Leading Index of Healthy Housing Markets ratings, there is little reason to expect a down-turn in the market anytime soon.  The ratings focus on the market as a whole, and include employment, the mortgage market, and the price growth of homes. 

Right now is a great time to buy and sell. If you know anyone who is looking for a home or thinking of selling their's give us a call.  We will take great care of them!

Ray Shay  

858 449-4970  

 

This information is copyrighted and cannot be reproduced or distributed without the express written consent of Shay Realtors Inc. 

Broker's Corner 3.31.15

Standard Pacific - Avondale Homes 

Ray Shay Broker/Owner Shay Realtors

 

I admit it.  I have a problem.  I like looking at new homes where there is an open feeling combined with indoor/outdoor living. 

  
Standard Pacific's latest offering, Avondale, succeeds in both areas.  We enjoyed walking through the new model homes located just south of the award winning Del Norte High School. 

They have great floor plans to meet a variety of needs.  Click here for the recent price list.

If you want to look at these homes on line and check out the floor plans, click here. 

If you're thinking of moving up or down, be sure to give us a call and learn more about our special programs to help you to make the most of the experience!

Ray Shay  

858 449-4970  

This information is copyrighted and cannot be reproduced or distributed without the express written consent of Shay Realtors Inc. 

Whisper by Ray Shay

Whisper   
By Ray Shay   

  

Recently, after finishing Chelsea's Run in Balboa Park our family walked over to Jimmy Carter's Mexican Restaurant at Fifth and Palm Ave.  As we approached the restaurant, I saw a mentally disturbed man wandering in the middle of the parking lot of the 7-11 store across the street.  

He abruptly pulled off his jacket and threw it to the ground before yelling obscenities at his invisible demons.  It was not long before SDPD arrived and placed the man into custody. While the man sat handcuffed in the rear seat of the police car, I talked with one of the young officers. 

The officer said one of their biggest issues lately, are people ingesting methamphetamine from Mexico which is laced with some unknown chemicals.  It results in persons exhibiting symptoms similar to PCP abuse.    

As he spoke, I recalled the dangers of PCP.  I then thought of SDPD Officer Mike Anaya who was only on the force for about nine months, when a PCP suspect overpowered him and killed him with his own duty weapon. 

Officer Michael Anaya (Click here to read his story)

PCP (phencyclidine) or "Angel Dust" as they call it, is a powerful sedative which was originally used to tranquilize elephants.  When I was on patrol in the cheaper areas of this city, the drug was frequently referred to as, "poor man's cocaine."  

I sometimes testified in San Diego Municipal Court as an expert on PCP abuse.  It only meant I knew slightly more than an average citizen and I had documented experience and specialized training in this hallucinogenic drug.  

Before gathering our family to head home, I cautioned the police officers to be safe. A common departing comment between cops, even a retired one and the next generation of law enforcement officers.  A friendly reminder that each moment they are wearing a badge, they are a target.

As I drove down I-163 to Mission Valley, I thought back to my countless encounters of people under the influence of PCP.  I then found myself squeezing the steering wheel as I thought to myself, I should have told those young officers to whisper.  It could save their lives. 

 

With most police critical incidents, you learn that either you or the violent suspect is in charge. That is why when guns are drawn or tempers flair, officers take command by saying, "San Diego Police," in a loud, authoritative voice.  New officers are reminded to practice this skill so they can take command of situations quickly.  

We also learned through experience, it was often best to slide to the other end of the spectrum and coax suspects into custody if they were under the influence of PCP.  You want to step into their often hallucinogenic episode softly and quietly. Every officer in the early 1980's learned to roll up to 11550 (b) scenes with no siren or emergency lights flashing and definitely never to screech their tires when stopping.

A sudden loud noise, quick move or lack of patience could result in the person suddenly turning violent. Since they feel no pain, seem to have super human strength and are likely hallucinating, the only thing that could stop them was sheer body weight. It would result in the proverbial "dog pile" while you try to gain control and apply handcuffs.  The entire time you keep one arm across your holster, securing your duty weapon to prevent the situation from turning deadly.  

Our sons still ask me to tell the story of the man on the roof.  It was just after shift change, about four in the afternoon when the radio call came out at 2800 Logan Avenue.  The reporting party said a large man who was likely high on PCP, was standing on his roof. If I didn't mention it, he was standing on the roof his car and the man was completely naked.  

I think I was the third unit to arrive on the scene.  The man was a giant.  The roof of the car was partially caved in and he stood broadly with both arms high in the air with his fists tightly clenched.  He looked at me and proclaimed, "I am God."

PCP can come in solid, powder or liquid form. It is most frequently found in liquid form and tobacco or marijuana cigarettes are "dipped" in the substance and then it is ingested by smoking.

Looking into his eyes you could see the "blank stare" appearance which is common with the drug. The drug also makes a person run hot and that is why they are frequently found naked.

The other symptoms of being under the influence of PCP is muscle rigidity, a strong chemical odor on their breath, hallucinations and finally PCP is one of the few things that can actually cause their eyes to display vertical nystagmus.  It simple terms, their eyes will bounce up and down similar to the old video "Pong" or "Breakout." Now, I am really dating myself.

As I looked at the man, I realized even if I had half the Department here, we could not likely physically restrain him.  I knew we had to talk him into handcuffs. That is where the whisper came in.  I recall engaging him in my softest voice, "God, everything is OK.  Why don't you just come down and talk to me?"

He glanced slowly around at the gathering neighbors, the owner of the car who kept repeating, "he is on my car!' and the additional police cars who kept quietly rolling up.  I think I mustered a smile as I waved him towards me and repeated that everything was OK. He stared at me for about thirty seconds and then to everyone's relief he slowly lowered his arms and stepped off the roof and walked across the hood of the car as it dented below his heavy weight. He reminded me of the incredible Hulk as he stepped on to the black asphalt with his huge bare feet. 

I whispered again, "Everything is OK." I could feel the heat radiating off of his body. Several officers quietly eased his hands behind his back and applied the standard double sets of handcuffs. One to hold him and the second to make sure the first set did not break.

As I continued our drive back home with my family, I wondered if I should even this story.  I know the eWeekly has wide readership including many police officers, but most of my readers sit in gate guarded communities or in expensive homes with HOA's and neatly manicured front yards. I know it will likely ruffle some feathers, but I hope the second group sees this article as educational.

If PCP or methamphetamine laced with chemicals is making a come back, I think you should know about it. Talking to experts in the field of narcotic prevention, they emphasize the importance of parents paying attention to their children, interacting with them frequently and be their parent and not necessarily only their best friend. Finally, don't wait too long to ask for professional help if you discover there is a problem. 

Enjoy your week, as we are all so fortunate to have peacekeepers like Officer Mike Anaya and so many others on the job to protect us and help safeguard our children.

 

Copyright Shay Realtors 2015 All Rights Reserved

Broker's Corner 3.24.15

Leased Solar Panels can Help or Hinder a Home Sale

Ray Shay Broker/Owner Shay Realtors

To some home buyers, solar panels are an appealing and environmentally friendly upgrade to a home, but when it comes to leased solar panels, they maybe be a deal breaker.  Would-be-buyers that love a house will often not sign a contract when they learn they will have to take over lease payments for the next 10 - 15 years.  Because of this, many homeowners have to buy out their solar leases at a huge cost before selling their home.

Many times sales fall apart when parties can't agree on how to handle the payments owed on long-term leases. Make sure you know the potential down-the-road costs of leasing rather than buying solar panels, especially if you are planning to sell in the future.  

If you do find yourself planning to sell and you are in a long term lease, call the leasing company to learn about transferring and buyout options or call professionals to sell your home that can get you the best possible price and will be prepared when prospective buyers have issues with your panels. 

 - Ray Shay  

858 449-4970  

 

This information is copyrighted and cannot be reproduced or distributed without the express written consent of Shay Realtors Inc. 

The Grab by Ray Shay

The Grab  

By Ray Shay   

  

I probably owe an apology to the amazing principals and teachers who are doing a great job of educating our three sons.  Schools are vitally important, but it also feels like our children are under constant pressure to perform.

 

When I was a kid, right or wrong, school was almost an afterthought. Priorities were baseball, football, and wandering in the high desert looking for horny toads and other critters.  Those quick moving toads looked so prehistoric, it was cool when we finally got our dirty little hands around one of them. 

Disneyland Bound

 
I recognize our children are much smarter at a younger age than we ever were. Last week, I handed our fifth grader Ryan, some homemade lasagna on a plate. He looked at me with a perplexed look and said, "Dad, lasagna is supposed to be in chunks. This is liquefied." 

I started laughing as I thought of him using such an advanced word.  I then looked around to make sure mom did not hear his culinary description of her dinner.     

We often see our two older sons work from sunset to late in the evening on their studies. I agree it is important that they are challenged in order to compete in the future, but I sometimes think they need a break. 

Ryan and Logan

That is the reason for my apology.  Once or twice a year, I tell our children they will be sacrificing perfect attendance in school to spend a day with our family. Since horny toads and the pristine high desert are not right out our back door, I took, "Mr. Liquefy" and a friend to Disneyland this past week.   

It had been years since we had been to Disneyland and since Ryan is our third son, we certainly do not have a season pass.  The curse of being born last.  For most of the day, I felt guilty we had not brought him sooner.  It felt like he was all grown up.

Pirates of the Caribbean

When Ryan was younger he used to be scared to go on, "Pirates of the Caribbean." As is our custom, we waited to ride in the front of the boat. 

As we began the slow float down into the cool darkness, we could here the spooky mantra from the skeleton skull hanging above the entrance, "Dead men tell no tales."

As our raft began to tilt to slide into the dark and cavernous adventure, I felt Ryan's little hand grab a portion of the sleeve of my t-shirt. He then pulled it tight as the boat slid down the incline into the start of the pirate battle. His hand then quietly slipped away.

Though Ryan did miss a day of school, it gave us both a badly needed break and the chance to enjoy a special moment together.  I was also able to experience a very special grab.  It was not like holding a weird looking horny toad, but it was one I would have likely never enjoyed, if I would have waited another few months until he was out of school.

Enjoy your week,

 

Copyright Shay Realtors 2015 All Rights Reserved

Broker's Corner 3.17.15

10 Year Warranty About to Expire?

Ray Shay Broker/Owner Shay Realtors

Quite a few of the homes in our area are approaching their 10th year anniversary. That is an important time frame for you to be aware of.   

Once you cross over that ten year anniversary most home builders will no longer warranty their homes. We recently had a home on the market that was eleven years old and the builder refused to come out.  

Take a close look at your home and even consider having a licensed home inspector take a detailed look at your home before your tenth anniversary.  It could save you big bucks by being proactive.  If you have any questions, be sure to give me a call.  

Ray Shay  

858 449-4970  

 

This information is copyrighted and cannot be reproduced or distributed without the express written consent of Shay Realtors Inc. 

The Stinky Trash Can by Ray Shay

The Stinky Trash Can 

By Ray Shay   

  
We had a standing rule in our car that while driving our children to their competitive sporting events, they could select the music. Their song choices have been broad and varied and I think they have enjoyed the freedom to select what they wanted to hear.

That rule suddenly changed last Saturday morning while I was driving one of our sons to play a cross town rival. I thought I heard the singer drop the, "n-word."  My suspicions proved correct when the singer said it once again, and by the third time, I reached over and turned the radio off.
My son was surprised and started to argue about his Fifth Amendment rights, my earlier promises they could play whatever music they wanted, and his final argument was, "all the popular songs use that word."  I know it was a visceral reaction, when I looked him in the eye and said songs using that word will never be played in our car.

After a few minutes he said, "fine." He then played a song with the weirdest set of sounds I had ever heard.  As we pulled into the high school parking lot and he reached into the back seat to grab his gear, I commented on his selection. He replied dryly before shutting the door, "It is the same song without the words."

As I watched him walk away I thought about my parents and my mom specifically who often told us seven kids, "You don't have to stick your head in a trash can to know it stinks."  I knew I had to find a way to re-approach our adolescent son and try to convince him why that word was off limits. By doing so, I knew I would have to tell him why I hate that word so much ...

 
It was the late 1960's when I first recall anyone using the "n-word." Thankfully my parents were way ahead of the curve on the importance of equality and what was right and wrong.  

I remember I was about nine or ten years old when a friend of mine called some dark holiday nuts a racist nickname.  I did not realize it was improper and naively thought that was just what people called them. 

I recall walking on to our front porch holding a basket of those dark, long nuts when I asked my father if he wanted any.  His response was quick and immediate.  I suddenly found myself lying on the ground with the basket and those dark nuts scattered around me. He made it clear the, "n-word" was never to be used.

  

When I became a police officer, I encountered racist people. They always turned my stomach. Despite what some people may say or what you see on national news, I never once saw a sworn law enforcement officer act in a racist manner.  It never would have been tolerated by his or her peers, or the San Diego Police Department.

Agent Thomas Riggs

Later in the day, I was again alone with my son.  I told him what happened on my front porch, a very long time ago.  I then asked him to think of two of his best friends while I told him a story about two fellow SDPD Police Officers named Agent Thomas Riggs and Officer Donovan Jacobs.  

I summarized how they conducted a traffic stop where a highly trained martial artist named Sagon Penn turned uncooperative and ultimately began fighting Officer Donovan Jacobs.

Within a matter of seconds he disarmed Officer Jacobs and shot him in the neck (partially paralyzing him).  Penn then used the same gun to shoot Agent Tom Riggs three times and then walked over to the marked police car and shot the female, civilian ride along, twice.  Penn then removed Agent Riggs handgun from his duty belt as he lay dying on the dirt driveway and stole the police car, running over Officer Jacobs as he fled the scene. 

  

Click here to read more about the incident.
Penn's Defense Attorney alleged at the subsequent trials that somewhere in the confrontation that terrible word was used. I don't believe it, but that is what defense attorney's do.  They represent their clients best interests and it was in his best interest to leverage that hateful word.

I still recall that sunny June day in 1985 when Sagon Penn was cleared of all charges and walked out of jail a free man. After I loaded my shotgun and placed it in the electronic dashboard mount of my patrol car, I just sat there for a few minutes with the air conditioning on full speed.  I kept asking myself how that could have happened?

I spoke with our son privately and then we discussed the use of that word as a family.  They figured it out.  I hope our sons never forget the importance of equality and staying out of the trash can of bigotry and hate.

I did not have the heart to tell our children that Tom and his wife Colleen had an infant son named "Adam" when he was killed in the line of duty.  Another example of a Police Officer who never had the enjoyment of seeing his child compete in team sports or the opportunity to help his son identify what is right and what is wrong in this big, complex world.

I can only hope that one day that hate filled word will leave our lexicon.


Enjoy your week,

 

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