A Little Boy and the Big Machine

A Little Boy and the Big Machine 

By Ray Shay   

 

 

Theresa and I were all smiles.  You would think we were at Disneyland. "Ryan it's cool!  It is just a big machine which makes loud clacking noises.  You get to wear special goggles and listen to headphones while you watch a Harry Potter Movie.  Have fun with it."  We were doing our best to try and put him at ease.

 

As you can see on the left, Ryan kept looking over at the big machine. I don't blame him.  He could sense something was not quite right.  He politely followed the nurses instructions and laid down, put on the goggles, headphones and then remained very still as the Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) began to slowly obtain slices of images of his young brain.

 

Theresa and I did not have to look at each other to know our smiles disappeared the moment Ryan put on the opaque goggles.  

The charade was over for a few minutes as we were immersed in our own private thoughts as we continued our search to explain why our ten year old son had missed 17 days attending his beloved Del Sur Elementary School, mostly due to headaches.

 

As we waited for the scans to be completed, I reflected on what had led up to this day and how Ryan's legs looked so small hanging off the side of that darn machine.  I then made the dreaded call. The call where you promise anything in your life to make your child healthy.  I doubt God even takes my calls. He and I have had a rocky relationship for a long time. 

The Big Rope

As you struggle with your own sick child it feels like there is someone standing on your chest pulling a big heavy rope that is wrapped around your heart.  When we received information later in the day the doctor had identified an abnormality in Ryan's brain, the dark, oily rope seemed to increase it's grip.

 

Of course, you can't stop thinking about it.  One of the first things we did is scour the Internet for any information on what the doctor told us was wrong.  Looking back, it probably caused more concern than relief. When it is your own child, you tend to think the worst.

 

Our next stop, (a week later) was a return visit to Rady's Children Hospital. As we waited to see well known and highly respected brain neurosurgeon Dr. Michael Levy, a woman walked into the waiting room.  She was holding her son's hand that was about the same age as Ryan.   

Dr. Michael L. Levy

 

All of us including Ryan, said nothing, but we all noticed the little boy's small frame, shaved head and he was wearing a surgical mask. My very first thought was, "How does that mother do it?"  We had been on this roller coaster for only a couple of weeks and we wanted off.  Parents with seriously ill children deserve to go straight to heaven.  For someone's child to be seriously ill seems so blatantly unfair.

 

After a brief interview of Ryan, Theresa, and I, we we're escorted into into Dr. Levy's office. Behind his desk were several huge, high resolution television screens that had digital scans of Ryan's brain. Time seemed to slow down and almost stop as we waited for Dr. Levy to speak.

  

Dr. Levy was a pro. He said he had studied the MRI scans of Ryan's brain and he was a normal little boy.  He then looked directly into Ryan's eyes and repeated it twice more.  By working with children every day, he must know from experience they pick up so much more than parents ever realize.

 

He explained the previous doctor who had reviewed the brain scans had noted something that he did not feel was a danger to our son. The repeat headaches may have been a result of a bad virus, cold or even a little boy growing up.

 

As Dr. Levy chatted with our son, the pressure began to lift and I thought of the amazing woman and her son who came in just before us and the 

Back to School

countless other parents and children who must have sat in these same exact chairs as their world came crashing down around them.

I knew right then, at that moment, I had to write this story.  If Dr. Levy had pulled that rope tighter around our worn hearts, I would have never written any story.  I know us.  It would be too private. We would have found a way to get off the grid. 

 

Like the vast majority of parents, our children are the center of our universe. As a result, the last few weeks changed us forever.  We will never look at a family with an ill child the same way again. My heart, respect, support and empathy is extended to anyone experiencing such difficult challenges.

 

I will continue holding on to my sketchy communication line with the big fella.  If he does pick up or is listening, I will ask him to please help ease the incredible burden that parents with ill children carry.  I know that heavy rope tests them and their beautiful children to their core.

 

Enjoy your children, we only have them for a short time. 

  

- Ray 

 

 

 

Copyright Shay Realtors 2015 All Rights Reserved

The Allergenby Ray Shay

My father frequently told my six siblings and I, "There is nothing you can tell me that would ever surprise me."  Since our dad had a great deal of experiences including living in a boarding school, raising seven kids and was a highly decorated war veteran, I believed him.

The last few years after happily passing the half century mark myself, I mistakenly put myself in his league. I should have known better.  I mistakenly thought after being a street cop for about twenty-five years and in the process of raising three young boys, I had pretty much seen it all.  It just goes to show you that when you think you know it all, life can slap you right across the face.

Boudine Bakery Employees and lots of Sourdough Bread!

It is a shame my rude awakening occurred last Friday morning, on Valentine's Day.  I had just parked our company car in front of our Community Hub In 4S Ranch.  The Prius was loaded down with about 150 loaves of freshly baked, heart shaped, Boudin Bread. I was excited about our annual tradition of passing out bread to our amazing clients.   

I took the photograph to the right about ten minutes before my phone started ringing.  Phone calls I was too busy to answer.  Looking back, the key should have been been the multiple calls from different numbers at 9:00 AM in the morning.   I did not recognize any of them.  Then I received an emergency text from a good friend of ours at Del Norte High School that simply read, "CALL ME ASAP. Ref TROY."

 

I had only dropped Troy off at school an hour earlier. I think parents' hearts stop for a moment when you get an urgent text about your child. When our friend answered the phone I did not even say, "hello" I just said, "what happened to Troy?"  That is when she told me, "Troy is having some type of allergic reaction and paramedics are loading him up now. How far away are you?"

I was only a few minutes away from Del Norte High School, but I told them not to wait.  We would meet Troy and the paramedics at the hospital.   We had no idea what caused Troy's allergic reaction.   I knew that anaphylactic shock is serious business and a person's reaction to an allergen can move quickly and the swelling can cause suffocation.

I knew Troy would be scared, but I also trusted Rancho Santa Fe Fire Department Paramedics and wanted Troy in the hospital now.  I suspect they would have never waited for me anyway.  I soon learned why parents with children who are sensitive to certain allergens like peanut butter and bee venom have sleepless nights worrying about the safety of their children.

As Theresa and I raced to meet the ambulance at Pomerado Hospital, time seemed to slow down. When we walked quickly past the reception area and into the emergency room, I was to say the least, surprised. Troy looked like he had just done about fifteen rounds of a professional boxing match.

Wikipedia example of Analphylactic Shock

Avoiding the graphic details, let me assure the effects of a person's body reacting to an allergen can be fast and significant. Troy had already received  two Intravenous doses of ephonefferen, intravenous

steroids, Benadryl and was on his second breathing treatment to improve his ability to breath.  

I tried to fill him (and us) with confidence by assuring him that even though he could not see his mom and dad, the severe swelling was stopping and it was important for him to try and relax.  In the far recessed corner of my brain, a little whisper was coming up through my cortex saying, "holy sh%! what the heck happened."

I then turned to the person directing the emergency treatment wearing the white coat and asked if she was the doctor.  She replied that she was the Physician Assistant and she works in tandem with the doctor who was helping several other patients.  I love PA's, I really do.  But when their working on your child and things do not seem to be getting any better, I want the extra schooling and hopefully some gray hair of a licensed doctor.

I can't say I fired her, but she left and the doctor came in almost immediately.  After reviewing the steps already taken he said he was perplexed that despite all the medications they had given Troy, his breathing was still "diminished."  I hated that word the moment it left the doctor's mouth.  

Then came the X-Rays, more tests and more treatments trying to solve the puzzle.  I don't know if it was his gray hair, his doctor degree or my little lie saying he was our only son, but within a few minutes he said he had activated Children's Hospital Emergency Transport Team to transfer Troy to Children's Hospital.  

Epi pen

Theresa rode with Troy in the ambulance and we spent about the next seventy-two hours in Children's hospital where he received exceptional care that ultimately reduced the swelling which finally allowed us to take him home on Sunday afternoon.    

I can tell you that Theresa and I are very thankful to Julie Leighton and Mimi Pelio and all the staff at Del Norte High School for their quick actions, all the paramedics (in both ambulances) and the doctors, physician assistants and support staff who helped us bring our son safely home.

Another aspect of this experience that will always stay with me is the importance of protecting children who are susceptible to this type of illness.  When a table at school says "Peanut Free" look at the picture above and realize allergic reactions are serious business and yes even the slightest exposure can be life threatening.   

We still do not know what caused Troy to have such a significant allergic reaction.   Until we determine the source and how to manage it, we have all been issued and trained in the use of Epi pens that allow us to counter the effects of the unknown allergen, in case it returns.  

I would also like to thank our great team of employees who distributed all the fresh bread and "spread the love" as they say on Valentine's Day.  I'm sorry Theresa and I missed it.   

Enjoy your week.

 
 
 
Ray and Theresa Shay 
 
2013 - Shay Realtors - All Rights Reserved