The Dateby Ray Shay

 

Ryan and Theresa

I know at a minimum it is bad manners for me to be on a date with my wife and son and to keep thinking about another woman, I met the previous evening.  I just couldn't shake the thoughts of her from my tired brain. 

I never dreamed I would be so distracted, because Theresa and I have been consciously trying to enjoy every second were around our youngest son Ryan.  He is at the awesome age where he is so much fun and he still thinks we're both pretty, "cool."  He laughs in his little boy voice at my corny jokes and still giggles uncontrollably when I tickle him in that special, secret spot.

I felt like we were living the dream last Saturday night as the waiter served me an ice cold amber ale in a chilled glass as I prepared to dine with two people who are at the top of my universe.  I glanced around the packed restaurant located in the beautiful and quaint seaside town of Del Mar, California.  Over a hundred people were busy laughing and joking as they appeared not to have a worry in the world.   I noticed gold and grey American Express cards were dropping on top of dinner bills like steady rain on a tin roof.

That is when my mind drifted back yet again to the previous evening and the other woman. Her name is Lisa-Lisa Jones and she is part owner of Jones Brothers Mississippi Barbecue at 6911 imperial Ave. (LINK). I met her while I was with some friends named Rocky, Dan and Ken Fortier.   Ken is a Sergeant on the SDPD Gang Suppression Team.  We were all on a ride-a-long to get a peek at how most people live.  Not the safe, HOA monitored and gate guarded communities that dot our local landscape, but rather residences where there are no garages and life and people just intersect more.

As we pulled into the parking lot of Jones Brothers Barbecue Restaurant in Southeast San Diego, Sergeant Ken warned us, "Lisa-Lisa is great, but keep in mind she is a hugger."  As we unbuckled our seat belts and eased out of the marked patrol car wearing bulky ballistic body armor,

Outside the perimeter of a shooting crime scene later in the evening.

we all glanced around the empty parking lot.   It was about seven PM on a Friday night and there was not a single customer. That is except us.

The empty parking lot and restaurant did not bother me as I knew they had great barbecue.  I was busy thinking to myself, how cool it was that Lisa-Lisa was a "hugger."  This world needs more "huggers." 

My private thoughts then drifted to all the years I had been a cop and how likely it was we would be called away from dinner to respond to either a shooting, stabbing or another type of violent crime somewhere south of Interstate 8. After all, it was Friday evening and San Diego is no longer a sleepy little town along the Pacific Ocean.

For whatever reasons, life just seems less fair in poorer communities.  Unfortunately, my predication of violence proved all too accurate, except for the timing.  We were able to finish our dinner. 

When we all walked into the empty Jones Brothers Mississippi BBQ Restaurant you would think we were returning family members. No hugs, but the Jones' family greeted all of us warmly with friendly smiles.  I didn't ask Dan or Rocky, but I knew we all felt welcome.

The barbecue was awesome, but more importantly, I saw a plaque resting on the laminate counter by the cash register and empty tip jar.  It included a picture that honored SDPD Officer Chris Wilson who was gunned down in the line of duty only a  few miles from where we now sat.  Chris who was married and has a son and a daughter was killed onOctober 28, 2010.  For details and video reflection of Officer Chris Wilson click here

When we finished our meal, I thanked Joe, his brother Nate and his wife Lisa-Lisa for the great food and told them how much we appreciated they still remembered Chris.  Lisa-Lisa blurted out proudly, "of course. I love that man."  What was interesting is she spoke about Officer Chris Wilson in the present tense.  Chris was killed in the line of duty from a gang members bullet over three years ago.  Lisa-Lisa and her family are keeping his spirit and memory alive.  She is a woman I will never forget. I knew Theresa would understand me thinking about her and Officer Chris.

It reminded me once again that sometimes in a few communities the bonds of friendship seem tighter and the appreciation they have for their law enforcement officers feels like it runs deeper.  When we got back to our patrol car we 

Rocky, Joe Jones and Dan

were soon responding to a shooting in the 3300 block of Imperial Ave.  Directly due west where we had eaten dinner. 

As I smiled at Ryan and Theresa with the fresh ocean air surrounding us, I  thought once again about the Jone's family and my time with Rocky, Dan and Ken.  I then took another sip of the cold beer and made a private toast to all the men and woman of law enforcement who were right now walking the point to protect us.  I also felt a sincere sense of appreciation to what appears to be ordinary people like the Jones that on a daily basis do such extraordinary things, like making strangers feel so welcome and keeping the memory of a father and friend alive and part of the daily fabric of their lives.

 

Enjoy your week.

Ray and Theresa Shay 

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