Memorial Day by Ray Shay

Memorial Day  

By Ray Shay

 

The days leading up to Memorial Day, I found myself thinking of both friends and family members who have served in the United States Armed Forces.  I thought of all the soldiers and military personnel who sacrificed their lives protecting our country and our freedoms which is the real reason we celebrate this special day.

I believe an indication of our deep love of freedom can be measured by the large number of our  warriors who perished protecting complete strangers on foreign lands.  Many of the people they were protecting have never traveled to America, much less sipped from our hard fought cup of freedom. 

I never served in the military, so I struggle to understand the depth of sacrifices of so many young people, many of whom were only kids when they died.  I wondered if my own life had been snuffed out by an Improvised Explosive Device (IED), a snipers bullet or in the up close personal type of armed combat of prior generations, what I would miss the most in my life?

I think it is a personal decision, but I can tell you hands down my greatest joy and thus my greatest loss would have never to have been a father.

I was thinking of our countless heroes from years past while I watched our youngest son, Ryan release a blue and white yoyo from his hand.  The small disk was spinning relentlessly as it raced towards the dark hardwood floor of our living room floor.  The white string neatly unfurled from it's tight confines before the yoyo struck the floor with a surprising deep sounding "clunk" and rolling a few inches before unceremoniously falling over. 

Ryan Shay

The look on Ryan's face was precious.  Having just procured his very first yoyo at Del Sur Elementary School, he had discovered that even with his arm extended above his shoulder the yoyo string was still too long to be operational.   He was simply too short.  

I watched closely as Ryan critically assessed the situation.  He thought for a moment and then deftly stepped up on to our living room couch (with his white soccer flats on), and tried again.   

The extra about twenty inches of height was enough to allow his yoyo to reach the end of it's repetitive journey and quickly curl back up to his little right palm.  With a sense of satisfaction, Ryan quickly turned his head and flashed me a devilish grin.  He had solved the problem.

I just wanted to freeze that brief moment in time that so many of our veterans frequently miss. 
Later in the day, I text Ryan' s older brothers Troy and Raymond the picture to the right. I found hanging in a gunsmith's shop in El Cajon. Two places, I rarely go.   

I noticed the poster on the right was hanging on a "peg board" on the wall of the business.  I laughed to myself because I couldn't wait to ask our three sons if they knew what a "peg board" was.  I began to practice various scenarios on how I could explain it to them.

Towards the end of the day,  Theresa and I attended Raymond's last Lacrosse game of the season for the Del Norte Nighthawks.   As luck would have it, Raymond took a shot at goal in overtime and scored the winning goal. 

As his teammates swarmed him and everyone was cheering, I thought how fortunate we are that we can enjoy our freedoms and spend so much precious time with our children.  A privilege so many military families cannot.

When we returned home, I located a pair of scissors and trimmed the length of Ryan's yoyo string so he could enjoy his timeless toy without leaving his shoe prints on our couch.  He was so happy and for a split second he looked at me like I was his hero.

Deep in my heart, I knew I was not.   I know who the true heroes really are.  They are the moms, dads, sons and daughters who wear American flags on the shoulder of their military uniforms and too frequently surrender their dreams so we can have ours.

Theresa and I hope you had a great Memorial Holiday weekend.    

  

Copyright Shay Realtors 2014 All Rights Reserved. 

Wild Fire Re-Cap and the Robbery by Ray Shay

Wild Fire Re-Cap and the Robbery  

By Ray Shay 

5.20.14

  

Wild Fires Strike San Diego County

I knew things were going south last Tuesday morning when my cell phone started ringing with multiple reports of a growing brush fire in the canyon area near Del Norte High School.   

My hat is off to Gretchen and our team who sent a Community Hub eAlert within ten minutes of us hearing about the fires. Many of our readers emailed us thanking us for getting the work out so quickly. I hope it was helpful.   

The fires immediately brought back memories of other devastating wild fires in San Diego where I was the one in the blue uniform telling families their homes were no longer standing.  As strange and heartbreaking as that experience was, many of the victims appeared honestly relieved to at least know the truth. I think the waiting and not knowing, is a big part of the trauma that so many people in our area and other parts of San Diego County endured last week. 

Soon after the fire trucks started rolling into our area, I walked towards our 4S Ranch Community Hub in 4S Commons when I saw the uniformed SDPD Police Officers standing outside the Wells Fargo Bank. The bright yellow crime scene police tape was hanging loosely, blocking the bank entrance. 

I recalling thinking the bank was likely robbed because the criminals knew our local Sheriff Deputies were busy evacuating frightened families. My suspicions were soon confirmed. Once again reminding me that predators are cowards and when they see a weakness they frequently look for opportunities to attack.

As my mind drifted to the wild fires and how brave both law enforcement and firefighters always are, my mood began to sour. I was distracted thinking about the multiple fires and that an armed felon and his companions were out taking advantage of the situation.

With the fire spreading unpredictably and the bank robbery, Theresa and I both wanted one thing, which was likely the same thing many of you did. We wanted to have our kids with us.  We wanted to be "hands on."

I was going to delay picking up our three sons from their separate schools, but Theresa had other ideas.  I have learned when it's not worth arguing.

When we arrived at all three of our local schools, Del Norte High, Oak Valley Middle and Del Sur Elementary, we were met with throngs of people picking up their kids.Tensions were high as fire engines raced past and dark smoke was in the air.

I have been at countless emergency situations, but I found myself impressed with the calmness of the leadership teams at each of the schools. Yeah some kids as well as some parents were on the edge, but the occasional smile and calm reassurance form a teacher, principal or other school employee was comforting and went a long way to calming nerves.  

Word quickly spread that Stone Ranch Elementary had ordered an evacuation of their students which resulted in parents moving quickly to pick up their children from the other local schools.  

The caravans of yellow school buses mixed with emergency vehicles reminded me that there was a great deal of training and pre-planning involved in our critical incident.     

In each instance there were lots of parents and anxious children, but the calmness and professionalism of school administrators was impressive.  We personally witnessed each of the below principals actively involved in working with their staff to pull off a pretty challenging event.  

   

     

At the end of the day, with Troy, Raymond and Ryan safely in our car, I thought about the firefighters and the law enforcement officers.  I then thought about another group of heroes that rarely get accolades and the support they deserve from the community.   

They are our teachers and the principles of our local schools who day and day out deal with highly emotional and stressful situations for little pay or recognition.  

It's not the cover of Time Magazine, but for the few thousand people who read this eWeekly, it is a reminder that each of our principles including Lisa Danzer of Stone Ranch Elementary and David Gyertson of Maranatha High School are pretty special people.  

Enjoy your week,

    

 

Copyright Shay Realtors 2014 All Rights Reserved. 

YODO

"YODO"

by Ray Shay
5.13.14

Troy, Raymond and Ryan

I know it's not easy being a cop's son.  I know my unique perspective on life is deeply shaded by about twenty five years of responding to critical incidents where very bad things often happened, or were about to happen. Usually the prior. 

When I raised my right hand as a rookie cop and said I would uphold the law and protect people, I thought I would be doing more protecting instead of responding and dealing with the aftermath of someone breaking one or more of the Ten Commandments, common decency or what most parents tell their children they should never do. It is just the nature of police work.

Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of times we worked a surveillance that resulted in us stopping street gang members with weapons who were bent on revenge or arresting a predator who had lost touch with reality.   

I know we saved lives, but honestly as a patrol officer you spend more time trying to pick up the pieces, then preventing Humpty Dumpty from falling off the wall.

You can't let the negative experiences seep too deeply into your private life, but it does influence how you look at things.  Theresa and I talk freely with our three sons Troy, Raymond and Ryan about living large, but we also remind them to be cautious of unforeseen consequences.  It is a difficult balance.  I guess that is what caused all three of our sons to turn their heads abruptly when I yelled out nice and loud the word, "YODO!"

It was a sunny afternoon a few weekends ago when our family was walking across the parking lot at a local shopping center.  There was a car approaching us at a slow rate of speed when Theresa and I yielded for the car, while our boys had another idea.  I guess that's not too surprising.

As I recall, one of our boys started yelling out the common phrase "YOLO" with at least one of his other brothers finishing it off as they ran across the parking lot with their hands in the air.  They weren't in concert or in tune but that is not what bothered me. I of course immediately crinkled my face when they did it.

 

I have heard them yell "YOLO" plenty of times.  If for some reason your not familiar with the saying it is teenage short hand for, "You only live once!" In their mind it seems to justify something they do which is on the edge or high risk.

 

As the car safely passed and our sons continued their giggling, I cupped both of my hands around my mouth and yelled out, "YODO."  They all looked at me with that "your embarrassing me dad look." As I yelled it again, it reminded me of something my father would have done.

When Theresa and I caught up with the boys they kind of whispered under their breaths, "Dad it is YOLO, not YODO." To their shock and dismay I just yelled it out again, "YODO."  They all looked around with embarrassment and then looked at me as if I had lost it.  That's really nothing new.  Like I said, it's tough being a cop's  son.

I then gathered them in close and explained, "YOLO" is fun and cute but they need to keep in mind that when they "YOLO" they may "YODO." As they all stared at me yet again with perplexed looks on their youthful faces, I slowly spelled it out, "YODO ... You Only Die Once."

Then came the, "Oh geez dad." Mixed in was a little laugh as our littlest son Ryan repeated it "YODO."  They shook their heads and let my cautionary tale at least enter their brains. I then lightened up the conversation, but since that day I have repeated "YODO" more than once.

Our sons usually laugh and occasionally roll their beautiful eyes when I say it.  I just hope it helps them without making them afraid of life or so paranoid they don't test the boundaries.  Leaders and children both need to have the confidence and common sense to allow themselves to grow and try new things.

As Troy, Raymond and Ryan ran off to play, I really knew it is more my problem than theirs.  Anyone who has been in law enforcement or emergency services for longer than a cup of coffee, learn pretty quick that no matter how much you may wish and try to do it,  you are often like all the kings horses and all the kings men in the fairy tale, and you simply can't put all the pieces back together again.

Enjoy your week and as our boys often tell me, "YOLO Dad!"

  

Ray 

 

Copyright Shay Realtors 2014 All Rights Reserved. 

Viking Sanwiches

Viking Sandwiches

by Ray Shay

5.6.14

    

As I swam lap after lap in the pre-sunrise darkness at Del Norte High School's amazing swimming pool, my mind drifted to memories of my mom. I don't recall if it was the upcoming Mother's Day this Sunday that triggered thoughts of her, or my private agreement with myself that whenever I swim in the ocean or enter a large body of water, I always think of her.

I usually make a point of saying, "hello." The type of hello that is off the cuff, almost as if I just walked into her busy kitchen, so many years ago.   Sometimes I can even hear the sounds of my  "hey mom" leaving my lips, while usually it's only a slight whisper in the deep recesses of my constantly busy brain.

The ocean connection with my mom comes from the lyrics one of my favorite Jimmy Buffet songs, A Pirate Looks at Forty...

Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call,

Wanted to sail upon your waters

since I was three feet tall.

You've seen it all, you've seen it all.

My mom certainly did see it all. As for my dad, the same thing occurs when I see stars in the night sky or a Navy fighter jet fly by.

He was a Naval Aviator and for some reason he was also infatuated with Stephen Hawkins and his study of black holes in deep outer space.  Kind of funny the things you remember about your parents. Both flying and the outer reaches of the galaxy are way above my pay grade.

As I swam, I thought of my mom and of course her, "Viking Sandwiches." The swimmer in the adjoining lane is a long time family friend named "Judy" who has amazingly beautiful dark brown almond shape eyes and a smile and laugh that always puts people immediately at ease. Since Judy had the swimming cap on her head her eyes were like black diamonds sparkling away, as they reflected off the immense surface of water.

I asked Judy about her daughter who is about to graduate from DNHS. Judy said her daughter had recently told her how much she was going to miss her mom's spaghetti. Judy laughed as she explained her daughter had exclaimed, "no one makes spaghetti like you mom."  Then came the smile and that amazing laugh again. I love Judy.

I thought how freaky it was that somehow in that vast pool of chlorinated water, both Judy and I were thinking about cooking and how food makes an indelible connection between parents and their children. 
As I began swimming the remainder of my workout, I thought of my mom's own laugh and her darn "Viking" cheese sandwiches. They were legendary and not because they were perfect sandwiches, but rather because they were perfectly, imperfect.

There really was nothing quite like em. First you have to understand with seven kids to feed our mom did everything fast, so her margin of error was pretty wide. I can still see her breaking out the whole square slab of American cheese and a loaf of white bread. As she talked away she would start slicing the cheese, but it was not like a normal person. She chopped it up like a Viking Sushi Chef on crack cocaine.

She would swing the large knife down on the soft yellow block and what would result is not slices but a series of "V" shaped pieces of cheese.  My mom never stopped talking as she asked about us our day, our sports, our lives, or telling us how much she loved being a mom.  She then buttered the bread, tossed the cheese on them and grilled them up.

Oh boy, it was an adventure to eat them. Some brown and some slightly burnt. It would drive any Qualcomm engineer absolutely crazy as the tip of the V was like hot lava while the other end was still ice cold.   You had to be careful because the cold part of the cheese may stick to your teeth while the narrow part seared the roof of your mouth or your lips as you suppressed a, "$%&^ that's hot!"

With my mouth half full of cheese and the toasted buttery bread, I would often tell my mom she was like a Viking. Of course she would laugh and then be off doing a variety of chores because there was certainly no housekeeper or helper in our home.

When I was a bachelor living in San Diego my dad sent me a Joy of Cooking cook book and wrote me a little note. You can see what he wrote above.

Mom and Dad

With both my parents passing within a few months of each other, I feel so fortunate to have these memories.  It reminds me to continue building great memories with our children.  As I continued my swim and saw the yellow sun beginning to peak over the eastern mountains, I felt a sense of good fortune. 

We were lucky to have such amazing parents and that they had such a "Live On" attitude.  They would not want any of us to mourn for them.

As I hurried to finish my workout, I could only think about Judy's delicious spaghetti. I hope she reads this story one day and brings me a plate.  I bet her daughter is right. There is only one spaghetti like Judy's and I suspect her smile and laugh are a few of the essential elements that make it so amazing.


Happy Mother's Day Mom, ,


Ray

 

Copyright Shay Realtors 2014 All Rights Reserved. 

Not a Writerby Ray Shay

Theresa and I put our three sons to bed several hours ago and here I am still sitting in the dark typing away on my IPAD.  It is only a few brief hours before both sunrise and my deadline. 

I am trying without much luck to write my eWeekly lead story.  It is simply not happening. Some may call it writer's block, but I have never viewed myself as a writer, so I'm not buying it.

I still smile when I think about walking across the shopping center parking lot in 4S Ranch when I stopped and waived for a vehicle to go past me.  The lady braked her car abruptly and stared at me for a moment before yelling out the passenger window in a loud boisterous voice, "I can't run you over.  I love your stories too much."

I still have no idea who that lady was or so many other people who have mentioned things to me about my stories.   I really don't know why people find them so intriguing.  It has honestly been a surprise to me.  

Maybe it is because I admit I'm a work in progress, my hilarious journey I love so much with Theresa and our children, or that I just share thin slices of everyday life that resonates somewhere in the psyche of others? I really don't know.   

I only started writing stories on a whim about five or six years ago.  Then it all got traction as they say and people seem to like reading them.  It has resulted in me developing a sense of responsibility.  A feeling that each week I need to provide something of value. 

In the quiet solitude in this early morning, I can only offer honesty. I just don't have it.  Though I often share slices of my life there is a much bigger pie that is rightfully kept hidden.  The things all of us keep private and choose not share.  And that too is OK. 

I wish each of you a great week and promise next week I will have a story hopefully worth your time.  In the meantime to the nice lady in the car, be patient as I will keep a keen eye out for you in hopes you will hit the break instead of the accelerator if our paths do cross.

Have a great week.

Broker's Cornerby Ray Shay

Ray Shay  Broker

The local housing market is very dynamic and still tilted towards the seller. If you are looking for a new build in the Del Sur Community be sure to take a look at the following video.  It is of the Descanso Development of Brookfield Homes. 

 

Our team of Home Buyer Consultants provide outstanding representation in the purchase of both new and re-sale homes. Give us a call for a confidential discussion of opportunities to sell your current home and participate in our "move-up" program.

 

The Descanso location is both unique and amazing.  Take a look

Click Here for Aerial Video 

Ray

Local Market Update:      

We can provide you with custom weekly reports. You will find easy-to-read graphs with statistics, and valuable information broken down into bite-size pieces about current market trends specifically for our 92127/92129 zip code. Call us at 858.449.7355 or email us today for your custom condo or single family home report.

The Mole Sez - Dangerous Intersection in 4S Ranch

Hey Boss, 

 

I hears lots of yous guys are worried about the intersection in 4S Ranch at Camino San Bernardo and Deer Ridge Rd. It's near da southwest corner of Del Norte High School where the cross walks are painted yellow across da blacktop.  Don't be fooled.  It looks like a four way intersection with stop signs all around, but it really isn't.  

Seems there has been a few car crashes there and we all know our kids cross on that cross walk. Pretty soon boss there is also going to be kids from Design 39 Campus walking across that street.

It's well, confusing to drivers of all ages because the cross traffic keeps zooming by.  There are only two stop signs and not four.  Boss, I even heard a rumor you were a bit fooled by the traffic trickery.  I was worried, so I put the word out and my uncle Jed who moved to Apple Valley to open a radiator business, sent me the below photograph and said, "Mole this might help with a plan "B" for that intersection." Jed was always a thinker.

I knows the County says "No Way" they will make it a four way stop, (though the knuckleheads  really should). I  have never been a quitter, boss but this ought to be a plan "B" as Jed told me.  That is until plan "A" of making it a four way stop can be implemented. Pretty big word for me boss.  That Bridgepoint Education on line course is helping!

Hey boss, I thinks yous guys should all forward this to the County and tell em what Uncle Jed recommended.  It's a start and it could save a life as they say.

Oh yeah, here is the info for people to call the County and go for plan "B." Americans a great country boss, tell your readers to make de voices heard!

Contact San Diego County 

Mole out